this is my personal take on nice guy™ syndrome. this is not fact. this is opinion. take the words and advice here with a grain of salt.
i also made a short video version of this here:
i was recently getting into elliot rodger shit again since the MSM just posted about him being "alt-right" (he's not. he was just a crazy racist) and mike cernovich said he was a male feminist (he's not. he hated women with a passion). everyone loves to pretend elliot rodger was part of whatever group they hate. some people even blamed violent video games. i personally blame manlets. (joke)
but in reality we know elliot was just a psychopath. he openly fantasized about crushing new born puppies to death, putting women in cages (not in the hot way) and murdering people. men and women. but besides being a general psychopath. elliot was also a nice guy™.
what is a nice guy™?
there are two layers to this
"the nice guy™ and the friendzone"
let's start with the nice guy™
a nice guy™ is not a nice guy.
a nice guy™ is a guy who thinks being nice automatically should grant him all the bagina (or peen) he wants. (there's also nice girl syndrome btw but for the sake of it we're going to call it nice guy™ syndrome since that's what it's normally known as)
nice guy™'s do not understand it's expected that every single fucking human being on earth by default should be nice. they think it's unique to be nice. and that it's enough to get a partner. they don't get that everyone who talks to a girl with the intention of sleeping with or dating her is going to be nice also. if the woman is cute. you can damn well expect that every single guy she meets is nice to her. in fact there were probably multiple men just that day who were kind to her. it's not enough.
you cannot just put nice tokens in a woman and get sex or love. i know some people wish it was that easy. but humans are complicated. and the stupid saying is true- women are complicated. i would know. i have been one for 26 years.
"you're nice but i'd rather stay friends"
truly the worst thing to hear when you are interested in someone. if she likes you as a friend why can't she like you as a lover? because romantic chemistry is a 2 way street, bucko.
do not girlfriend zone a girl. if you can't see her as anything else but a lover. if it pains you to be around her and not embrace her. if you can't stand the thought of her being with someone else. fucking do not be friends with her.
this is torture for you. do not stand around waiting for her to suddenly fall in love with you. if she has painted you as a friend. thats it. dont wait for years, dude. that's time wasted when there could be someone else out there for you.
girls, this is on you too. if you turn down a guy to just be friends with him, as painful as it is to lose him as a friend, and i know it's painful. let him go. you're going to always feel awkward and uncomfortable being with him knowing he has feelings for you. unless you are a cold bitch and enjoy stringing men along, do the right thing and slowly cut contact. talk to him. tell him it hurts you as much as it hurts him. chemistry is important. and if it doesn't go both ways it just won't work. i say this from experience.
i believe men and women can be friends. i dont think that is impossible. but when one person boy/girlfriend zone's the other. it can be tragic for both parties.
growing up i was always friends with guys. this wasn't on purpose. i wasn't trying to be one of the guys™ wanted to be friends with women. i longed for female attention. (in fact my one female friend turned out to be a male all along) but i didn't fit in due to many things. one being my OCD disorder and 2 being my (now gone) social awkwardness. in my teens i was relentlessly bullied by women for my fashion choices, my hair, my doormat nature. the nerdy guys took me under their wing. and although they didn't really talk to me much. they let me sit at their lunch table. sometimes i think of why i'm so protective of men and this might be why. it's just engrained in my mind to pay them back for protecting me. being 'asexual/aromantic' at the time (i did not know there was a name for it, i just thought i was broken or something) this made it very easy to get along with the opposite sex without awkwardness.
when i was about 16 a boy asked me out one day. i said yes since i thought it was the correct thing to do. we didn't hangout or anything. we were just bf and gf by label. 3 days later i broke up with him via myspace (lol) and i told him "you're nice but i don't want to be in a relationship right now." (something along those lines. maybe there was some obnoxious emojis. maybe it was written like uR niIce BuT I dnT WaNnA B In a rEaLaTiOn sHiP Rn XD) he was nice. but me being uninterested in sex or romance i didn't know what to do. there was no sexual or romantic chemistry there. but he was nice. we stayed friends. until he said he still liked me. and i had to slowly break contact and let him go. THIS IS THE CORRECT THING TO DO.
fast forward into my late teens and early 20's
i work now. so i'm in public. i'm also not as ugly. every time a guy would ask me out i'd say i have a boyfriend. i didn't. but this was easy. i didn't have to awkwardly let him down. guys normally respect when you are "taken" (that wasn't the case one time 'hurrdurr he's not here tho') i would never go on a date are you fucking kidding me. i had nothing to talk about. i was an uninteresting shut in who spent all day online. and i still wasn't very interested in dating. but when i didn't say i had a boyfriend and i denied these advances i would always say "you're nice but-"
and i didn't realize until recently i was part of the problem.
girl... JUST SAY "NO"
nice guy™ syndrome is just a mans fault as it is our fault so let's stop this. when you say this i know you are being sweet. you don't want to hurt his feelings. but when you have to turn someone down just tell the truth. do not sugar coat it. i know it feels like shit and you feel mean but just simply tell them you don't feel the same way about them as they do about you. just tell them you're not interested. you can still do it in a nice way. but just do not tell him he is "nice but..."
what this does, especially to socially awkward men, is tell them that they are being turned down for being nice. "she said i was nice but rejected me" he'll say to his friends thus perpetuating the "nice guys finish last" bullshit.
nice guys™ finish last
unless you're rich or drive a nice car and you're looking for some shallow gold digger. simply being nice isn't going to help you. ever. like i said earlier, everyone is nice by default. it's expected. if women got with the first guy that was nice to them there would be no single women.
you need something else. what are your hobbies? interests? do you play an instrument? do you share any interests with the girl? are you funny? there are plenty of things that you can be other than nice. because if you're just "nice" you're boring.
here's a mgtow-esque theory. but stay with me here. a lot of socially awkward young men are not shown random niceness. while a good looking girl is shown niceness by men all the time. so to them they couldn't even imagine being talked to sweetly by someone. or being complimented. but to a woman. that's the fucking daily. this doesn't make women bad people and this is nobody's fault. this is just humans. this is evolution. just keep in mind 'nice' isn't special on it's own. all people should be nice.
but listen. nice guys do not finish last. my fiance is a nice guy. he's the sweetest man i have ever met. he treats me amazing. he's sentimental, caring, affectionate and understanding. but he's also hilarious, charming, witty, smart and shares a hobby with me. that's what got me. he was also in my online social group. usually this is the way women (or at least myself and some other girls i know) like to meet people. i can't speak for everyone though. but it's important to have friends. even if they're internet friends. if you're a socially awkward mess it's easier too. you already have things in common. INTERNET! send the bitch some memes. bitches love memes. if all else fails, join my discord. it's produced 6 fucking relationships.
sometimes socially awkward men will confuse being confident with being an asshole. lots of people online come to the conclusion that greg (my fiance) is an asshole because his sense of humor, cockiness and dominant attitude in videos. keep in mind a lot of that is playing up personality the lulz and you only see a small portion of our relationship online. behind the scenes he is still cocky, has a "mean" sense of humor (so do i have you seen my videos? we're both 'assholes') and is dominant. but he's also a loving, respectful and amazing man. not an asshole.
but while men may confuse being confident with being an asshole. women do it as well. women will get with genuine assholes assuming it's confidence. which is sad. they are just as fucked as the nice guys. they'll get hurt. some women do like assholes. and that's just how they are. but you are not an asshole and you don't want to be an asshole. you shouldn't strive to be. you should always strive to be the best you that you can be. and you also don't want a woman who wants an asshole. so don't worry about it.
not every woman likes chad thundercock.
all women are different.
despite all your rage you are still a nice guy™ in a cage
nice guy™ rage is something i have dealt with. i have turned down a guy only to be met with psychotic breakdowns. a guy i knew sent me very expensive gifts and a love letter with no return address when i already had a boyfriend. when i denied his advances, he tried to guilt trip me about the gifts. "but i bought you those gifts." as well as other crazy things. and tried very hard to ruin my life.
this is a genuine 100% pure nice guy™ in the wild. and it wasn't all his fault either. i should have cut contact with him instead of playing nice. instead of saying "that was very nice of you but you know i have a boyfriend" i should have instead said "do not send me things like this. this is something that somebody does for a significant other." instead i strung him along because i felt bad. i had intense empathy for him. he was very socially awkward. he was lonely. he never experienced a woman being nice to him. i was probably the first. but wherever he is i hope he found someone for him.
do not do nice things just to expect something in return
this is so important. if you are just nice to get something out of it you are not actually nice. you're just a little rat trying to get into someone's pants. and many girls are smart when it comes to that game. we can see through it. the bitches are evolving.
you'll also notice i'm mostly talking about relationships. thats because i know fuckall when it comes to one night stands and hooking up. that's a whole different advice blog you should be reading.
-make sure you have other things to be proud of than just being nice. everyone is nice. everyone is capable of being nice. you're not special for being nice to someone. you're also likely not being turned down because you are nice. there are many other factors for someone not liking you. do not lie to yourself.
-also do not lie to yourself and think you are owed any kind of love or sex from somebody. it doesn't matter how nice you are. it doesn't matter how many things you buy them. it doesn't matter that you took them on a date and paid. it doesn't matter how long you have been "friends" (get out of there) you are not owed sex or a relationship. despite how mean it sounds nobody deserves sex or love. some people are lucky and find it. others work for it. but no one deserves it. i was lucky and found it. you might not be as lucky. but i hope you are.
-remember you don't need a relationship to be happy or fulfilled. you can be happy alone.
-focus on yourself before all others. if you don't love yourself it might be hard for others to love you. when you learn to love yourself that is very attractive to other people. and if you can't learn to love yourself learn to love hating yourself because nihilism is funny sometimes and humor is attractive.
thats about it for now. i might update some things or make this a video. who knows.