Saturday, May 19, 2018

response

Response

so a few weeks ago because of stress and fear from the internet spilling over into the meatworld i made the mistake of disavowing a friend publicly. i've admitted this was a mistake. everything is ok now. we are pals again and hanging out IRL soon.

but where there's blood there are sharks

some of you have probably seen this "expose" video made about me from brittany venti. besides the criticisms about disavowing lauren & screencaps of me being a bitch about fat people in the past, which i agree these things were stupid of me, it's such bullshit. it's SO bad at some points and so painfully easily debunkable that i'm not sure if she's doing her trolling act she used to do and just baiting for a response video. which she's not getting. but it's obvious she does not follow me closely at all and has seen very little of my content and has just been given out of context things from some seriously dedicated internet stalkers so she can make this takedown video and hasn't done any research of her own. 

let's start with the biggest one

my old videos
i’ve already spoken about my old videos being fabricated story time “OMG ALMOST DIED” videos so many times in streams, in my old blogpost about youtube (read it here) and even in my ancient “draw my life” video from 2013 (here). also you can checkout me and derrick’s old livestream on shoe0ffhead where we talk about our highschool experience together (here) if you... need?... second hand confirmation that i’m not... lying... about once being a loser and was in fact lying about being cool and popular and likable like a lot of 19 year olds with GOTIS just discovering you can fabricate a new life online would do.
balloon girl never happened and was one of the storytime things but scarf girl DID happen and we talk about it in detail in that stream. i literally never once hid the fact that on top of being bullied myself i partook in some bullying later on. like. we talked about this on a stream just a FEW MONTHS ago. its not some secret.

19 year old june who was very insecure and unhappy with her life was trying to put on a persona of "cool and edgy". this person has it twisted and thinks 27 year old june who is very secure and happy with her life is trying to put on a persona of "not cool". i'm almost fucking 30, dude. i'm content with telling people who might relate to my experiences that they shouldn't fake who they are and be themselves and not care about being "popular" and shit. again.... i've talked about this.



'fat shaming'
i've never told someone they are fat or fat shamed them to their face. but i have talked badly about people being fat. but that's just like, immaturity. no excuse really. just was being a bitch. i dont know why that clip of us at the park where i zoomed in on the woman was an example of this? i didn't call her fat or anything. i was just being ADD. that reach.

having friends
the other “friends” you saw in videos are literally cousins (more like family friends really but ive known them since they were born) that were 4-5 years younger than me (JAFSvideos. again. ive talked about this SO MANY times) and that wasnt when i was in highschool that when i was in my 20's. 

SHE LITERALLY THINKS THOSE VIDEOS WERE ME IN HIGHSCHOOL. 

I WAS LIKE 20.

I CAN'T.

being a goth
i wasnt goth in my old videos because youtube wasn't popular when i was a goth lmao. i didn't use youtube yet. i wasn’t a goth in COLLEGE. it was 2004-2007. it was tripp pants poser goth. just such an irrelevant and weird reach to pile on to make me look "fake".

anime
i don't like anime but i don't actually hate it. i've... i've stated this. it's literally a fucking meme. two bombs wasn't enough. ban anime. etc. again, anyone who actually watches me knows this. liking "kawaii" japanese things like plushies and clothing is completely irrelevant to liking anime. a reach.

video games
this one was the biggest "are you fucking kidding me lmao" points
i have never once in my life claimed to be a gamer. one of the most popular ongoing jokes especially during gamergate was about how i don't play video games. it's incredibly well known that i only play the sims nowadays, but when i was younger i enjoyed vidya. christ, even in my "social justice league vs gamers" video my opening joke is how i have never played megaman while i'm wearing a megaman shirt. and in my 'manspreading' video i joke about how my nintendo DS hasn't turned into a paperweight yet. there are also dozens of tweets of me joking about not playing games. AGAIN. reach. just like the old videos and the anime this is me being well aware about something and talking about it often and her making it seem like it's some dirty secret lmao

relationship
this is just some people who aren't fans of us not understanding dynamic and not understanding that people usually ham up their personalities for 'the lulz' to entertain an audience. he makes fun of me a lot but i make fun of him back all the time. it's convenient nobody ever brings that up when trying to paint this retarded narrative of him treating me like shit. we dealt with this in 2015 when a psychotic feminist started a rumor that i was underraged and greg was abusive. this isn't new. it's just tired and dumb. if he treated me like shit i'd leave
you can think me fawning over him is cringe sure. but this has been going on for years. we're getting married. there are no brakes on the gay train.

being a cuck 
i'd insta break up with greg if he cheated on me.
so this is honestly just really funny and people are going to wind up making it into a meme just like we did with the 'underaged' drama.

porn
we're in a long distance and sometimes go months without seeing each other do you expect me to care if he watches porn lmao what even is this WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAA

wearing wigs
i got trichotillomania when i was about 11-12 and started wearing wigs when i was about 13-14. THESE AREN'T CONTRADICTIONS. I DIDN'T GET TRICH THEN INSTANTLY START WEARING WIGS LOL

my videos are the same
although it's not technically true, as if that even needs to be said, i literally have a "all my videos are the fucking same" shirt. i've said that joke in videos. greg has screamed it at me in my cat calling video. plus the ongoing headache of feminist media saying the same shit is literally part of the funny. hence, the wage gap button. thats the joke.

if you're going to make a video mocking me at least beat me to the punch

uwu
shoe0nhead is loud, boisterous, mean, obnoxious and curses in every other sentence. i type cutesy sometimes, and i like cute decorations and like cutesy things, yes. but my PERSONA on the shoe0nhead channel is NOT cute at all. shoe0nhead is mad online™ that's the brand. i'm constantly SCREMing and saying "FUCK" and making sex jokes. that's not innocent. maybe it's uwu on twitter sometimes when i talk about cute shit. but i've always been like that. you can go back to my tweets before i started talking about feminism even. hell i even have posts from 2012 where i'm talking like a cutesy idiot like "boop :3" and gay shit. i like cute things. girls die if they don't have cute things.

summary
honestly there’s nothing else to say. i was cringe & said some bitchy things online and lied on youtube and to people to sound badass and interesting and i’m still cringe now and say dumb shit. i’ve been on the internet for like a decade. every year i look back at myself & cringe. the only difference is normal people dont have stalkers who collect their years of cringe and change.

the drama it stemmed from is over and was over the day it started. i just got way way too invested in fighting with strangers on twitter and “sides” and shit. i just needed a long break from political climates to “clean my room and sort myself out bucko” as professor kermit says. i’ll be back with new fun videos.

TL;DR someone who knows nothing about me made a video exposing things i've already exposed about myself

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

nice guys™


this is my personal take on nice guy™ syndrome. this is not fact. this is opinion. take the words and advice here with a grain of salt.


i also made a short video version of this here:



hello fam.
i was recently getting into elliot rodger shit again since the MSM just posted about him being "alt-right" (he's not. he was just a crazy racist) and mike cernovich said he was a male feminist (he's not. he hated women with a passion). everyone loves to pretend elliot rodger was part of whatever group they hate. some people even blamed violent video games. i personally blame manlets. (joke)

but in reality we know elliot was just a psychopath. he openly fantasized about crushing new born puppies to death, putting women in cages (not in the hot way) and murdering people. men and women. but besides being a general psychopath. elliot was also a nice guy™.

what is a nice guy™?

there are two layers to this
"the nice guy™ and the friendzone"
let's start with the nice guy™

a nice guy™ is not a nice guy.
a nice guy™ is a guy who thinks being nice automatically should grant him all the bagina (or peen) he wants. (there's also nice girl syndrome btw but for the sake of it we're going to call it nice guy™ syndrome since that's what it's normally known as)

nice guy™'s do not understand it's expected that every single fucking human being on earth by default should be nice. they think it's unique to be nice. and that it's enough to get a partner. they don't get that everyone who talks to a girl with the intention of sleeping with or dating her is going to be nice also. if the woman is cute. you can damn well expect that every single guy she meets is nice to her. in fact there were probably multiple men just that day who were kind to her. it's not enough.

you cannot just put nice tokens in a woman and get sex or love. i know some people wish it was that easy. but humans are complicated. and the stupid saying is true- women are complicated. i would know. i have been one for 26 years.

the friendzone

"you're nice but i'd rather stay friends"
truly the worst thing to hear when you are interested in someone. if she likes you as a friend why can't she like you as a lover? because romantic chemistry is a 2 way street, bucko.
do not girlfriend zone a girl. if you can't see her as anything else but a lover. if it pains you to be around her and not embrace her. if you can't stand the thought of her being with someone else. fucking do not be friends with her.
this is torture for you. do not stand around waiting for her to suddenly fall in love with you. if she has painted you as a friend. thats it. dont wait for years, dude. that's time wasted when there could be someone else out there for you.

girls, this is on you too. if you turn down a guy to just be friends with him, as painful as it is to lose him as a friend, and i know it's painful. let him go. you're going to always feel awkward and uncomfortable being with him knowing he has feelings for you. unless you are a cold bitch and enjoy stringing men along, do the right thing and slowly cut contact. talk to him. tell him it hurts you as much as it hurts him. chemistry is important. and if it doesn't go both ways it just won't work. i say this from experience.

i believe men and women can be friends. i dont think that is impossible. but when one person boy/girlfriend zone's the other. it can be tragic for both parties.

my experience

when i was about 16 a boy asked me out one day. i said yes since i thought it was the correct thing to do. we didn't hangout or anything. we were just bf and gf by label. 3 days later i broke up with him via myspace (lol) and i told him "you're nice but i don't want to be in a relationship right now." (something along those lines. maybe there was some obnoxious emojis. maybe it was written like uR niIce BuT I dnT WaNnA B In a rEaLaTiOn sHiP Rn XD) he was nice. but there was no sexual or romantic chemistry there. but he was nice. we stayed friends. until he said he still liked me. and i had to slowly break contact and let him go. THIS IS THE CORRECT THING TO DO.

fast forward into my late teens and early 20's
every time a guy would ask me out i'd say i have a boyfriend. i didn't. but this was easy. i didn't have to awkwardly let him down. guys normally respect when you are "taken" (that wasn't the case one time 'hurrdurr he's not here tho') when i didn't say i had a boyfriend and i denied these advances i would always say "you're nice but-"

and i didn't realize until recently i was part of the problem.


girl... JUST SAY "NO"


nice guy™ syndrome is just a mans fault as it is our fault so let's stop this. when you say this i know you are being sweet. you don't want to hurt his feelings. but when you have to turn someone down just tell the truth. do not sugar coat it. i know it feels like shit and you feel mean but just simply tell them you don't feel the same way about them as they do about you. just tell them you're not interested. you can still do it in a nice way. but just do not tell him he is "nice but..."

what this does, especially to socially awkward men, is tell them that they are being turned down for being nice. "she said i was nice but rejected me" he'll say to his friends thus perpetuating the "nice guys finish last" bullshit.

nice guys™ finish last

unless you're rich or drive a nice car and you're looking for some shallow gold digger. simply being nice isn't going to help you. ever. like i said earlier, everyone is nice by default. it's expected. if women got with the first guy that was nice to them there would be no single women.

you need something else. what are your hobbies? interests? do you play an instrument? do you share any interests with the girl? are you funny? there are plenty of things that you can be other than nice. because if you're just "nice" you're boring.

here's a mgtow-esque theory. but stay with me here. a lot of socially awkward young men are not shown random niceness. while a good looking girl is shown niceness by men all the time. so to them they couldn't even imagine being talked to sweetly by someone. or being complimented. but to a woman. that's the fucking daily. this doesn't make women bad people and this is nobody's fault. this is just humans. this is evolution. just keep in mind 'nice' isn't special on it's own. all people should be nice.

but listen. nice guys do not finish last. my fiance is a nice guy. he's the sweetest man i have ever met. he treats me amazing. he's sentimental, caring, affectionate and understanding. but he's also hilarious, charming, witty, smart and shares a hobby with me. that's what got me. he was also in my online social group. usually this is the way women (or at least myself and some other girls i know) like to meet people. i can't speak for everyone though. but it's important to have friends. even if they're internet friends. if you're a socially awkward mess it's easier too. you already have things in common. INTERNET! send the bitch some memes. bitches love memes. if all else fails, join my discord. it's produced 6 fucking relationships.

but anyway
sometimes socially awkward men will confuse being confident with being an asshole. lots of people online come to the conclusion that greg (my fiance) is an asshole because his sense of humor, cockiness and dominant attitude in videos. keep in mind a lot of that is playing up personality the lulz and you only see a small portion of our relationship online. behind the scenes he is still cocky, has a "mean" sense of humor (so do i have you seen my videos? we're both 'assholes') and is dominant. but he's also a loving, respectful and amazing man. not an asshole.

but while men may confuse being confident with being an asshole. women do it as well. women will get with genuine assholes assuming it's confidence. which is sad. they are just as fucked as the nice guys. they'll get hurt. some women do like assholes. and that's just how they are. but you are not an asshole and you don't want to be an asshole. you shouldn't strive to be. you should always strive to be the best you that you can be. and you also don't want a woman who wants an asshole. so don't worry about it.

not every woman likes chad thundercock.

all women are different.

despite all your rage you are still a nice guy™ in a cage

nice guy™ rage is something i have dealt with. i have turned down a guy only to be met with psychotic breakdowns. a guy i knew sent me very expensive gifts and a love letter with no return address when i already had a boyfriend. when i denied his advances, he tried to guilt trip me about the gifts. "but i bought you those gifts." as well as other crazy things. and tried very hard to ruin my life.

this is a genuine 100% pure nice guy™ in the wild. and it wasn't all his fault either. i should have cut contact with him instead of playing nice. instead of saying "that was very nice of you but you know i have a boyfriend" i should have instead said "do not send me things like this. this is something that somebody does for a significant other." instead i strung him along because i felt bad. i had intense empathy for him. he was very socially awkward. he was lonely. he never experienced a woman being nice to him. i was probably the first. but wherever he is i hope he found someone for him.


do not do nice things just to expect something in return

this is so important. if you are just nice to get something out of it you are not actually nice. you're just a little rat trying to get into someone's pants. and many girls are smart when it comes to that game. we can see through it. the bitches are evolving.
you'll also notice i'm mostly talking about relationships. thats because i know fuckall when it comes to one night stands and hooking up. that's a whole different advice blog you should be reading.

TL;DR


-make sure you have other things to be proud of than just being nice. everyone is nice. everyone is capable of being nice. you're not special for being nice to someone. you're also likely not being turned down because you are nice. there are many other factors for someone not liking you. do not lie to yourself.

-also do not lie to yourself and think you are owed any kind of love or sex from somebody. it doesn't matter how nice you are. it doesn't matter how many things you buy them. it doesn't matter that you took them on a date and paid. it doesn't matter how long you have been "friends" (get out of there) you are not owed sex or a relationship. despite how mean it sounds nobody deserves sex or love. some people are lucky and find it. others work for it. but no one deserves it. i was lucky and found it. you might not be as lucky. but i hope you are.

-remember you don't need a relationship to be happy or fulfilled. you can be happy alone.

-focus on yourself before all others. if you don't love yourself it might be hard for others to love you. when you learn to love yourself that is very attractive to other people. and if you can't learn to love yourself learn to love hating yourself because nihilism is funny sometimes and humor is attractive.

thats about it for now. i might update some things or make this a video. who knows.

bye <3





Thursday, January 18, 2018

YouTube. Why I do it & why you should (or shouldn't)


 
hello frens. this is a long post. a short story, if you will. about my origin story and my experience on youtube but it ends with advice for you. i was motivated to do this after reading about youtube's new monetization policy, the one where youtubers who have under 1,000 subscribers won't be able to make money, and how it made some of you feel like quitting.

i swear this short tale of how i came to be the giant idiot you know today is worth the read if you're a follower or fan. especially if you're a small youtuber. but if you're just a regular guy. fuck off. no just kidding. you're allowed to read it too. just don't complain about the lowercase. a e s t h e t i c, newfriend. let's go.

How I started.


i've been making videos all my life way before there was even a computer in my house. i used to make videos just for fun with an 8mm camera, to entertain my family. i loved movies. and as soon as i discovered moments in life could be recorded on film forever, that i could make my own movies, i was addicted to making videos. whether it was making stop motion with my stuffed animals or interactive 'blues clues' type videos for my sister. screaming at the camera "hi sarah! where's the bunny???!!!" awkwardly waiting a few seconds then going "wow you found the bunny! great job!" quality content, 8 year old june.
so youtube naturally was very attractive to me. "you can put videos ON THE INTERNET and fuckin SHARE THEM WITH PEOPLE" 
i started my first channel in 2008 with my close family friends. it was called JAFSproductions. it stood for June, Andrew, Faith and Sarah. Believe it or not this was influenced by fucking Fred. him and his cousins had a youtube channel with their initials as the name. so yeah. Fred was my first youtube influence. god damn what a throwback.
on JAFS we would just upload silly skits we did so we could share it with our friends. we even created a parody of the 70's show. we didn't expect anyone to see this shit (nobody really did). and there wasn't an option to monetize at this time. it was just really fun to make videos. the JAFS people lived on the other side of the island and could not drive (they were all 14-15 lol) so it was incredibly rare we ever had the opportunity to film anything and when we did- they weren't really into it. it seemed like i was the only one wanting to make videos and forcing them into it wasn't fun at all.
so around 2010 i created "Shoe0nhead", a channel for personal vlogging since i couldn't make skits on my own. i figured i can get creative juices flowing by being goofy by myself and making up 'storytime' stories. so i just talked about things happening in my life and exaggerated, even made up, stories about it. it was fun. but it wasn't what i loved to do. i met online friends and small communities of people and made videos for them but it didn't last long. around this time i was in college, majoring in film and had severe depression. college was a big wake up call that i sucked at directing, something i wanted to do since i was a child. i dropped out and deleted those old vlogs and left youtube for nearly 3 years. abandoning it as soon as i hit 1,000 subscribers. that 4 digit number scared me. i didn't like that i gained that many doing something i wasn't happy with. i wasn't having fun. my depression was getting worse. i was confused and unsure what to do. so i became a daywalker. i completely abandoned the fun part of the internet. just working at the cosmetic section of Macy's and using Facebook. 

How I REALLY started.


July 2014.
i don't even know what the internet is anymore. i haven't touched my youtube account in 3 years. it dropped from 1,000 subscribers to 500. people forgot about me. i was content with my new normie lifestyle. i accepted my death of 9 to 5. i accepted i would never meet friends who enjoyed making videos. i accepted i would never find motivation to create or entertain again.

then i found feminism

(lmao)

facebook was full of pop-feminist shit. everywhere i looked for 2 years. friends i have met online over the years and people i met at work were turning into crazy people outright calling men trash and making huge deals out of little things. calling jokes offensive. calling people misogynists. sexists. racists. i was pressured to be a feminist. facebook friends would ask if i was and i would answer "isn't that outdated? why not just humanist?" (now i know it's called egalitarian, but yeah) which would drive them into a fit of fury. it was insane.

and it was fucking hilarious

so i had an idea.
"fuck it"
i was going to risk friendships with nearly 20 people and upload a short rant about how stupid i thought this all was. and i was going to upload it on facebook.
but then insecurity hit me.
i didn't want to hurt their feelings. i didn't want to directly call them out. they would know i was talking about them. i didn't want to deal with that.
so at the last second i uploaded it to my old Shoe0nhead account.
"this shit is dead nobody will see it anyway."
i needed to rant. i need to scream and vent my frustrations out. at the time i didn't know it, but i had found my drive to create again.

i said what i needed to say. made some jokes. edited it. put Dr. Dre music in the background (inspired by YourMovieSucksDotOrg). it felt good to edit again. even though nobody was going to watch it. it felt good getting that off my chest. maybe someone could relate to my fustration and my humor about the situation would make them feel better. but my channel has been dead for 3 years. i doubted it. 

i hit upload and walked the fuck away. 

catching thunder in a bottle


at this time i didn't use youtube for any other reason other than movie review channels and gamegrumps. i loved (old) JonTron and YourMovieSucksDotOrg (still do). but i wasn't subscribed to any political channels. because i hated politics. they bored me. (still do)
about 4 days after i uploaded Oppression Olympics, my shallow rant about feminism, i decided to check the comments.

it had over 40,000 views.
i had 3,000 subscribers.

i couldn't fucking believe it.

the most views i ever saw on a video of mine was when my sister and i made a video pretending we caught a real alien on film. I think it had 8,000 views. because the title was clickbait af.
but this video? it was called "oppression olympics.mp4". (i kept the mp4 because it thought it was funny.) how did it manage to get this popular?
i read the comments. thousands of people felt the same way i did. after years of feeling like i was alone i was amazed even one person felt the same way i did. it was overwhelming. people were thanking me for "speaking out". saying they "feel the same way". and i was happy for them. i wish i could have found a shoe0nhead when i felt like i was taking crazy pills.
but where were these people coming from?

Thunderf00t

i had no idea who this was. but his comment was the top comment and had several hundred likes. his avatar was a bunny so naturally i was like "n i c e".
i clicked on his channel and holy shit. someone with a lot of subscribers who felt the same way i did. someone else who was fed up with feminist shit.
he had shared my video on a video he made and i instantly connected the dots.


It's about ethics

people wanted more. and boy did i have more. "fat acceptance." "otherkin" all these funny topics i've been surrounded by that i couldn't wait to rant about. i started discovering other youtubers like Sargon of Akkad, Internet Aristocrat and The Honey Badgers. i started diving down the rabbit hole. at the time there wasn't much. but to see other people on my side of this issue was such a relief. i couldn't wait to entertain them more.

then GamerGate happened.

this overloaded my motivation. i went from "what the fucks a video" to "AAAAAAAAAAA" in the span of a few months. i wanted to cover gamergate. it was interesting to me. the striesand effect was crazy. btw all my titles had ".mp4" in them. that was going to be a thing. it's not a thing anymore.
although i was still a newfag, i enjoyed ranting about these subjects. i joined twitter where i spent most of my time. since i worked i couldn't make many videos. but on twitter it was 100% gamergate 24/7. looking back on it, it was pretty cringe. and weird. but i was so into it. the memes were spicy. the friends were cool. the bantz were hot. i was also building an audience very quickly and didn't know how to handle it.

Quitting

early 2015
i wasn't monetized. i refused to make any money off of my videos. i didn't want this hobby that i had just gotten back into to feel like a job. i wanted to keep it pure. mundane matt tried to convince me to monetize. i refused. i already had a job. i worked a lot. i worked almost every day. but subjects were moving quickly. every day there was a new happening. every hour something stupid happened that was ripe for the commentary. by the time i had the time to sit down a make a video the topic was already a week old. not only could i not keep up, but pressure was building. i was comparing myself to other people in my genre constantly. there were a few channels, let's call one, The Thinker Of Reason 666, that really intimidated me. they were smart. i was not. they made long videos. i made short videos. at this time i had 50,000 subscribers. fifty thousand people were watching me. and i couldn't handle it. my content wasn't good enough to entertain 50,000 people. The Thinker Of Reason didn't even have 50,000 people watching him. why did i deserve that much? i felt like i was cheating. and once again the numbers were freaking me out.

so after my 'average is beautiful' video i quit.


i stayed on twitter and decided i would just be an observer and not a creator. i was still interested in the subject. but i didn't feel good enough. there were now dozens of youtubers talking about this subject and they were all way smarter than me, with better cameras, and more to say.

but they weren't... funny. they were serious. everyone was so serious. how the fuck are you so serious with such a hilarious topic?

i watched my subscription feed overflow with updates and content about feminism. they were great videos. i loved hearing what all the different personalities had to say. because of the recommended videos on a TL;DR video i discovered Armoured Skeptic who QUICKLY became my new favorite youtuber. i thought it was going to be some cringe worthy edgy atheist shit but he was hilarious. his humor was on point. the way he made fun of people's logic and words without actually making fun of them personally was influential. it made me want to create again. i bought his merch. but i kept quiet. i'll keep the entertainment on twitter. feminism is clearly a serious subject. i also discovered christina hoff sommers during my "quitting" months and i was addicted to her. based mom, they called her. she was a huge influence to me (still is). so i bought her book. "Who Stole Feminism"

and it was like a sign from god


Guess whose back, back again

i bought a "slightly used" copy of Sommers' book on amazon and it couldn't have fallen into better hands. the pages of her book were COVERED in angry feminist notes. saying things like "no" "fuck off" "shut the fuck up" and 'correcting' christina's points. my dumbass had to make a video about this. i couldn't just tweet about it. i had to show my audience. so i threw on my Armoured Skeptic shirt (hoping senpai would notice me) and made the video. yes it wasn't a "smart" video. but it was funny. and i feel like that corner of the internet needed some laid back, funny material. for fucks sake, the feminists were basically feeding us the comedic material.

people loved it.

what was i thinking sitting back and sticking to twitter? it's like britney spears said:

'there's only two types of people in the world.
the one's that entertain
and the one's that observe.'

gay marriage was legalized in the US the next month. so i made a video mocking conservatives who freaked out about it. people loved it. it didn't matter what i made a video about. why did i feel like i had to do something else? or be someone else? people subscribed because of me. because they like MY takes on these subjects. it didn't matter that The thinker of reason made a video about x first. not everyone is subscribed to the thinker of reason and not everyone likes the thinker of reason. the people who are subscribed to me are here for me. and although i couldn't sit and read a 10 page study on the wage gap. i could make a funny button that debunks it, symbolizing how often feminists bring it up. my purpose was to make people laugh amongst all the bad news and i was very okay with this. i felt comfortable making videos again. 
i also started dating Armoured Skeptic. a fan girl's dream come true. and i finally had a friend who enjoyed creating entertainment as much as i did. then i made my buzzfeed response video which fucking shot me through the roof. the subs kept pouring in. i finally got over my stubbornness about monetization thanks to my boyfriend (and my parents who basically pressured me to make money off of this) and quit my job. in late 2016 at 400,000 subscribers i felt secure enough to quit my job. i was scared it would change things, but so far it has not.

it's currently 2018 and i am a few thousand away from 1 million subscribers.

so what is this? am i just bragging? no bitch. listen.


You and YouTube.


advice time:

this advice all comes from experience and things i have done by accident that seem to work. by reading comments every single day since fucking 2014 i've noticed why people come to my channel and why people stay. 

this week youtube rolled out it's monthly platform suicide note. it told small channels under 1,000 subscribers would not be able to monetize. 

i tweeted about this and was incredibly upset seeing the replies of "small channels" wanting to quit. or hearing some of you have already quit because of demonetization. so let's talk about that really quick.


answer these questions

1. why do you make videos?


i make videos because i love to make people laugh. i make videos because it's been a hobby of mine since i was a kid. i make videos because i love seeing people timestamp a part they found funny. i make videos because i love to create more inside jokes and memes within my fanbase. i make videos because i love to edit them. i make videos because im fucking bored and have no hobbies. why do you make videos?

if one of the only things you can think of is "money" you were doomed from the start. because i'm going to be honest. it's really fucking easy to tell when a youtuber is just in it for the money. you can tell they have no passion behind what they are doing and it's a huge turn off. do not be that person.
that sounds mean. and harsh. but it's true. you need a muse. you need something more motivating than money. otherwise don't bother. you can get a job working retail and make money easily.

pretend it's 2008 again

years ago there was no monetization on youtube and that was the golden age of youtube. it's my reason for keeping the potato cam 480p black bar "girl in bedroom" aesthetic. look at the famous youtubers who were gold age youtubers, like shane dawson or smosh. they weren't monetized when they started and now they have millions of subscribers.

so let's say you're okay with not being monetized. but you still feel like your channel isn't doing very well and you want to quit. let's help you there.


2. what is your genre?

what are you? vlogger? gamer? makeup? commentator? sketch comedy? political? debunker? think about what genre would you place yourself in then think about who is your favorite youtuber in that genre. when i first started mine were YMS and JonTron. they were great commentators. their humor was already very similar to mine but i adopted their quick paced editing style. you can tell they were my early influences. later on my influences were Armoured Skeptic and Sargon. it's good to have people who influence you. but now you have to make yourself unique.

3. what do you bring to the table?

what makes you stand out from others in said genre? you can take inspiration from your favorite youtuber's style. do it. no shame. i know youtubers who copy my style and it's great. (just don't literally copy them word for word, ever. because i know someone who did that to me. and i'm still butthurt about it) but now think of something different you can do.


4. what is your A E S T H E T I C 

so we discussed content but let's discuss the more shallow aspect- looks.

rule number 1 on youtube is have good thumbnails. take time to make your thumbnails. put nice borders around them or something. have short titles. have a "theme" (i use the same font for example) make it eye catching and make the title interesting (and short if you can) but don't go full clickbait. wait. first let's talk about WHAT clickbait is.
clickbait is titles or thumbnails that have nothing to do with the video topic.

that's it.

flashy thumbnails. colors. crazy titles. all of that is fine and not clickbait. as long as those things are relevant to the topic you are discussing in your video. remember that. the worst clickbait is the kind that doesn't even have anything about the topic in the title. please for the love of god do not use vague titles like "OMG YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED HERE!!!" or "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THIS". it's so cheap.
i dabble in the art of "not-clickbait" by titling my videos things i argue against in said video. examples include: my "women aren't funny" or "men are wimps" videos. people will see those titles and be like "THE FUCK??" then breathe a sigh of relief when i agree with them. not clickbait-but makes people interested. making your title a question is also a good way to go. for example: "how many genders?" (my now deleted video) or "who stole feminism"? if you're making a video let's say about net neutrality and arguing for the pro-side of it. title it "is net neutrality bad?" or something like that. and have your dumbass doing a confused face for the thumbnail.

so we got your thumbnail down. now let's think about what physically separates the meat of your content from the thousands of other people sitting in their bedroom talking about current events or the dozens of other animal avatar/suit avatar anti-sjw channels?
my potato cam and 2008 bedroom vlog vibe are mine. have cool music in the background. have an interesting backdrop. have all your videos be in black and white. maybe have your entire wall covered in pictures of nicholas cage and never mention it. that would be hilarious.

5. if you weren't you would you watch your videos?
this one is so fucking important and it was a major motivation for my channel. as much as i hate myself i would probably watch my videos. i love comedic commentary. chris ray gun is currently my favorite "anti-feminist" channel and people always say we are the gender swapped versions of each other. and i learned pretty recently that his influence was also old JonTron videos. so there you go. are you doing something YOU would find entertaining or interesting? if not you need to re-evaluate. if so- let's move on to the next step.

NOTICE ME SENPAI


so you think you have what makes you unique down. good. now is the hard part. getting people to watch your shit. i was lucky. but others might not be as lucky. this is what you do. SEND OTHER YOUTUBERS YOUR VIDEOS. i'm not fucking joking. you might feel annoying but if it's good content 80% of the time they will share it. this advice comes from me because i am that youtuber who shares it and i've seen people blow the fuck up overnight because of it. this works ESPECIALLY well if said youtuber is in your genre. it also helps if it is a subject or current event said youtuber is interested in. but do not spam it to them. once is enough. tweet it to them. "hey check out this video i made about ____". 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.


establishing a fanbase


okay so you mentally figured out who you are and what to do. you made your thumbnails. you got the exposure.

now what?

like i said, a gurl talking about feminism was a unique thing on it's own especially when i started. but there are hundreds of anti-feminist channels and hundreds of anti feminist women on youtube now. i got lucky with the exposure but what about now? what makes these people stay? why are my numbers always good? why did i get 700,000 views on a video i made 4 days ago where i react to what i thought was overplayed shit from 2015?

THE MEMES, friend. THE MEMES.

you don't have to-but i chose treating my channel like a character. the things said are still my real opinions, but my personality in real life is NOT that boisterous and loud. i'm in fact pretty timid and laid back. but shoe0nhead is a giant idiot. she's ON all the time. EXTREMELY ONLINE. and people love it. there are things associated with my channel. like ollie. the patriarchy monster. the don't flag. the wage gap button. nihilism. the bad camera. the dr. dre and gorillaz music. it really helps to have at least one "thing". think of yourself as an action figure or a barbie. what accessories would you come with? chrisraygun would come with bleach and paul. armoured skeptic would come with his minions and... me. it's cool to have a "thing". you don't have to, but it's cool to. fans like "things". although it's cheesy and only works if you're a goofy entertainer, you could also have a name for your fanbase. mine is friendos. :D

pay attention to your viewers


youtube is all about entertaining your audience. they are who is important here. always keep them in mind. respond to comments. "heart" comments. pin comments. make a twitter account. make your channel a fun environment where people will always enjoy coming back. when you are big enough make merch. encourage fans to send you pictures of them wearing the merch then make a montage of all your awesome fans rocking your shirts. make them feel important, because they are. they are not numbers or dollar signs, they are real people who enjoy what you do and they need to come first.

closing notes. 

-make sure you always love what you are doing. if you ever feel stuck or feel like your content is stale mix it up or take a break. breaks are good. like my "quitting" break.

-listen to criticism. sometimes you will get harsh criticism and it might hurt your feelings. but it's important to listen to it and consider what they are saying. if it's just dumb hate like "fuck you fagboi" ignore it. if you get enough cringe worthy insults make a video reading hate comments. people love that shit.

i cannot help you 'become a popular youtuber'. some people get lucky when it comes to exposure but even the lucky ones work hard after the initial exposure. if you can do it it's a lot of fun. it's a dream job doing what you love for a living. 

good luck, frens <3





Wednesday, October 25, 2017

'social autopsy': doxxing website

ohh honey i forgot i had a blog. this is for topics i dont care enough about or are too personal to make videos on.


so you've probably seen me tweeting at and about this woman called RedPillBlack. Here's why:


redpilblack

i barely knew who this person was. but thanks to TreeOfLogic's video.. it's been consuming a lot of my day exploring how funny this is.

redpillblack is a conservative youtuber who has been on infowars and a bunch of other large conservative channels. her videos are normal conservative/anti-sjw content as far as i've seen. people are saying it's sketchy that she has so many subs with so like 15 videos but my channel was the same way. she sounds intelligent, speaks softly, is beautiful and she has a unique POV, black conservative female, it's natural for people to be interested. so that's not the weird part.

social autopsy


this is the same woman who founded "social autopsy" a website literally dedicated to doxxing people who have said mean things online. (which we all know is subjective.) also dedicated to helping children dealing with online bullying by doxxing other children. yeah.
you can make a profile for somebody with a bunch of 'receipts' of their "bad behavior" and attach their full name, city, SCHOOL and fucking PLACE OF WORK. it's literally south park irl. chris ray gun made a video about this website in 2016. i never saw it but watched it today. in the video you can see her 1984 as fuck promo videos for the site. check it out.

liberal to conservative 'overnight'


a year later she resurfaced as "red pilled black". not that weird. many people are starting to realize how awful SJW's are and many are getting fed up with the left. but she's a full conservative "overnight" because, according to her on the Rubin Report, Zoe Quinn's white knights started harassing her anonymously over her website. and this made her change all her political positions. that's legit the origin story for her awakening.
also what i find interesting is she has no proof it was "sjws" that were trolling her. she guessed since it was the same week Zoe called her (rightfully) telling her the site was awful and she shouldn't go through with it. yeah SJW's are vile but around the same time chrisraygun, mundane matt, infowars and many others were reporting on her doxxing site. according to several comments/tweets i've seen 4chan was also talking about it a lot. so it could have been .... anyone and everyone. it's more believable that 4chan did a raid tbh. but from the assumption that it was SJWs- she magically turned conservative. i've been getting shit from SJW's and shitting on SJW's since 2013 and i still hold liberal political beliefs. finding SJW behavior abhorrent has fuck all to do with political beliefs. it's not like you get cyberbullied by some idiot liberals and, for example, suddenly you're anti-abortion and pro-small government. so that part is sketchy on it's own. the reason she gives is just nonsensical. to me. take laci green's "red pilling" for a more natural example. she still holds many of her beliefs but simply became more open minded about people against feminism because of all the shit she has seen from feminists. she didn't turn anti-feminist or conservative. i do find people who jump from one end to the other quickly sus as hell but just like laci, i dont think RPB is faking. but let's dive deeper into this-

the issue

when this was written the site was not down. the funding stopped only 9 months ago. the FAQ was erased last summer but the 'submit a person' page remained. yes. you can still submit people's personal information. the fuck. she did not given any reason why the site was still up or why that page remained. if she's able to delete the FAQ why can't she delete the submit page? bizarre.



why this site is scary


imagine being a teenaged edgelord, growing up, changing, regretting your past behavior but having that edgelordness attached to your name forever. future employers can look you up and see you said "suck my shitting dick nipples" 4 years ago. 

imagine being an outspoken right winger or left winger who engages in heated debates online. now all your shit is exposed to antifa members and other extremists who can hunt you down.

imagine someone who engages in heated debates online with neo-nazis or even people who just have personal vendettas against you. now they know where you live.

all you need is a full name and city. which is the information provided on the site.
people who hate you can swat you, they can hurt you. this takes online bullying to real life bullying. the site even fucking knows that. in their terms of service they claim they are not responsible for anything that may happen to the people doxxed. the FUCK.

the website has gathered over 20,000 people's information. in her own words:




check out suityourself's video and andy warski's video where they show just how disturbing this shit is.

WARNING: HERE BE THE MASSIVE DAMAGE CONTROL


turn back now if you have low tolerance for cringe

to make things worse on twitter she says she will 'not apologize' for social autopsy because at the time her 'heart was in the right place'. i get standing your ground and refusing to apologize when under pressure to do so. that's fine. honestly. people may have a problem with her not saying sorry but if we should not force people to apologize when they don't even mean it. 

one of her excuses for not deleting the website (or ability to enter people's dox) was, and i quote, she "wanted it to be a reminder of her past". because clearly her own personal shit is more important than people's information?

but even WORSE she's also saying this is a

wait for it

"funded misinformation campaign"

yes

EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME IS BEING PAID THIS IS A COORDINATED ATTACK REEEEE




this is where shit gets fucking RETARDED.

"everyone who is criticizing me is a paid soros shill" attitude does not help her AT ALL. people have been talking about social autopsy's fuckery since 2016- which by the way- if you didn't know- was 4 years ago. at least according to Paul Joseph Watson with his god awful white knighting attempt for her. ignoring the fact that he himself wrote about her doxxing site last year. people were responding to her tweet saying things like "fuck those libs" "ignore those liberals they just wanna take you down" "liberals hate you because you're a black conservative". it makes me fucking cringe. hard. since when is 'anti-doxxing' a political thing?



bizarre 'fake conservative' narrative


after she removed the page after being pressured to- RPB went on twitter rants about how the people that were criticizing her about this are "fake conservatives" and how they are "acting like liberals" again, cringe. this whole "LIBRULS" thing when it comes to this topic is fucking retarded. there were hundreds if not thousands of her own fans, conservatives and anti-sjw's in general, giving a shit about this. anyone who believes in liberty and the right to anonymity was mad. if anything this proves that their beliefs are consistent (anti-doxxing) and they don't engage in tribalism. just because RPB is "one of them" should not exclude her from criticism. i don't know why she's pulling the "im one of you" guilt trip. i would never want someone to hold back criticism of me just because they agree with some of my political beliefs. that's the stupidest shit. especially when the topic at hand has NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS. although RPD dropped the SJW thing, she's still holding on real tight to the tribalistic mentality SJW types are notorious for having. 

is she going to switch sides because of *this* now? lol


again, what does thinking your doxing site is creepy as shit have to do with politics?

pulling the identity politics card






because people giving you shit about your public doxxing site had everything to do with the color of your skin. good lord. this keeps getting more pathetic. the more she digs herself this hole the more interesting this becomes. i wanted to stop but i can't look away. 

she keeps guilt tripping her conservative audience. praising those who blindly kiss her ass (Rubin, PJW, Joy Villa) saying "this is why THEY'RE leaders" and calling everyone who dare criticize her "liberals in disguise", "fake conservative" implying if you dare question this woman you are not a REAAAALLL conservative. how could you question her ethics?? she's one of youuuu





"it takes a lot to go against pack mentality btw everyone who questions me is a fake conservative stay in the pack."



"maybe if i just say MAGA MAGA MAGA all of this will go away"


The worst white knighting I have ever seen in my fucking life:



The "you're just jealous" knights:







There's also the "maybe she doesn't know how to take down the site" knights. The "Stop being a bully to my waifu but it's ok when you mock a feminist" knights. The "pls no infighting disregarding the fact that you are not a conservative yourself and have only just discovered this person a few days ago" knights. And my personal favorite- the "MAGA MAGA i have no idea what's going on i am out of the loop but i support her stop questioning my waifu MAGA MAGA" knights. 


i'd get the hilarious screencaps but she fucking blocked me (and hundreds of other people)


top lel




anyway it's over.
hope you enjoyed this ride.