Saturday, May 19, 2018

response

Response

some of you have probably seen this "expose" video made about me. besides the criticisms about disavowing lauren & screencaps of me being a bitch about fat people in the past, which i agree these things were stupid of me, it's such bullshit. it's SO bad at some points and so painfully easily debunkable that i'm not sure if she's doing her trolling act she used to do and just baiting for a response video. which she's not getting. but it's obvious she does not follow me closely at all and has seen very little of my content and has just been given out of context things from some seriously dedicated internet stalkers so she can make this takedown video and hasn't done any research of her own. 

let's start with the biggest one

my old videos
i’ve already spoken about my old videos being fabricated story time “OMG ALMOST DIED” videos so many times in streams, in my old blogpost about youtube (read it here) and even in my ancient “draw my life” video from 2013 (here). also you can checkout me and derrick’s old livestream on shoe0ffhead where we talk about our highschool experience together (here) if you... need?... second hand confirmation that i’m not... lying... about once being a loser and was in fact lying about being cool and popular and likable like a lot of 19 year olds with GOTIS just discovering you can fabricate a new life online would do.
balloon girl never happened and was one of the storytime things but scarf girl DID happen and we talk about it in detail in that stream. i literally never once hid the fact that on top of being bullied myself i partook in some bullying later on. like. we talked about this on a stream just a FEW MONTHS ago. its not some secret.

19 year old june who was very insecure and unhappy with her life was trying to put on a persona of "cool and edgy". this person has it twisted and thinks 27 year old june who is very secure and happy with her life is trying to put on a persona of "not cool". i'm almost fucking 30, dude. i'm content with telling people who might relate to my experiences that they shouldn't fake who they are and be themselves and not care about being "popular" and shit. again.... i've talked about this.



'fat shaming'
i've never told someone they are fat or fat shamed them to their face. but i have talked badly about people being fat. but that's just like, immaturity. no excuse really. just was being a bitch. i dont know why that clip of us at the park where i zoomed in on the woman was an example of this? i didn't call her fat or anything. i was just being ADD. that reach.

having friends
the other “friends” you saw in videos are literally cousins (more like family friends really but ive known them since they were born) that were 4-5 years younger than me (JAFSvideos. again. ive talked about this SO MANY times) and that wasnt when i was in highschool that when i was out of highschool and/or in my 20's. hanging out with people 5 years younger than you doesn't prove you were some cool chick lmao that's pretty fucking lame when you really think about it. in highschool i was a fucking uglyass wallflower that's not a lie. my best friend was Derrick and he's still my best friend.

this was me at 15-16





if this isn't the face of a wallflower i dont know what is??? lmao



being a goth
i wasnt goth in my old videos because youtube wasn't popular when i was a goth lmao. i didn't use youtube yet. i wasn’t a goth in COLLEGE. it was 2004-2007. it was tripp pants poser goth. just such an irrelevant and weird reach to pile on to make me look "fake". i've posted several pictures and videos of me when i was "goth" but most have been yeeted since my myspace is dead.



god help me


anime
i don't like anime but i don't actually hate it. i've stated this. it's literally a fucking meme. "two bombs wasn't enough". "ban anime". etc. again, anyone who actually watches me knows this. liking "kawaii" japanese things like plushies and clothing is completely irrelevant to liking anime. a total reach. japanese/korean stuff is really cute. this was clearly just more filler.

video games
this one was the biggest "are you fucking kidding me lmao" points
i have never once in my life claimed to be a gamer. one of the most popular ongoing jokes especially during gamergate was about how i don't play video games. it's incredibly well known that i only play the sims and some multiplayer games with greg nowadays, but when i was younger i enjoyed vidya. christ, even in my "social justice league vs gamers" video my opening joke is how i have never played megaman while i'm wearing a megaman shirt. and in my 'manspreading' video i joke about how my nintendo DS hasn't turned into a paperweight yet. there are also dozens of tweets of me joking about not playing games. AGAIN. reach. just like the old videos and the anime this is me being well aware about something and talking about it often and her making it seem like it's some dirty secret lmao

relationship
this is just some people who aren't fans of us not understanding dynamic and not understanding that people usually ham up their personalities for 'the lulz' to entertain an audience. he makes fun of me a lot but i make fun of him back all the time. it's convenient nobody ever brings that up when trying to paint this retarded narrative of him treating me like shit. we dealt with this in 2015 when a psychotic feminist started a rumor that i was underraged and greg was abusive. this isn't new. it's just tired and dumb. if he treated me like shit i'd leave. the screencap of me saying i'm only into bdsm because of him isn't about bdsm, like everything else that was taken out of context and i was talking about porn. i wouldn't watch porn by myself because i can't really get off to it on my own. tmi. this whole thing is such awkward tmi.
you can think me fawning over him is cringe sure. but this has been going on for years. we're getting married and i love him. there are no brakes on the gay train.

being a cuck
i'd insta break up with greg if he cheated on me. and i don't like the idea of him having sex with other women. unless i'm literally joining in. that's a threesome. if having threesomes makes someone a cuck that's just retarded.
so this is honestly just really funny and people are going to wind up making it into a meme just like we did with the 'shoe is underaged' drama started by Jenny McDermott, who, was used as a fucking SOURCE in this video.

porn
we're in a long distance and sometimes go months without seeing each other do you expect me to care if he watches porn lmao what even is this WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAA this is nothing but weird purity spiraling.

wearing wigs
i got trichotillomania when i was about 11-12 and started wearing wigs when i was about 13-14. THESE AREN'T CONTRADICTIONS. I DIDN'T GET TRICH THEN INSTANTLY START WEARING WIGS LOL

ollie
ollie hasn't lived in his cage in years. he has the entire livingroom to himself closed off with a baby gate and his cage is always open. he literally will jump into his cage and sleep in there while it's open. he also uses it as his litter box. he likes it, i don't lock him in there unless i have to. like if lots of people come over the house. remember i don't live alone, i live with my family. i'm not allowed to have a rabbit wondering the entire house. and i was also not allowed to have a second rabbit. when i have my own place ollie will be completely free to roam around the whole apartment. so you can stop with this weird animal abuse fanfiction.

my videos are the same
although it's not technically true, as if that even needs to be said, i literally have a "all my videos are the fucking same" shirt. i've said that joke in videos. greg has screamed it at me in my cat calling video. plus the ongoing headache of feminist media saying the same shit is literally part of the funny. hence, the wage gap button. thats the joke.

if you're going to make a video mocking me at least beat me to the punch

changing to cater to boyfriend
i'm not even the same person i was 2 years ago let alone 10 YEARS AGO. i am constantly changing and growing and my personality and everything changes constantly. that's not weird at all. that's normal and a good thing. making it seem like greg got me into the 'lolita' style is really creepy when you can go back to pictures of me from like 2012 and see i was experimenting with that style a lot. i just found it pretty and cute. and now that i have money i can buy more things in that style so i experiment more. i can't really pull it off myself but i appreciate that aesthetic and always have. i'm constantly changing my style and experimenting with it. i even went through a Kreayshawn phase where i wore big bamboo earings. i'm surprised that wasn't mentioned because it was pretty bad. there's nothing wrong with experimenting with style especially when your mom picked out your clothing until you were like 14 and you never really knew how to dress but uh. yeah.

'lies'
finding out that you can re-invent yourself however you want online was a blessing for my-ass at the time. i wanted to have this persona as this ex-cool girl who used to be super popular and used to have a great eventful life. i thought that would be super interesting angle for vlogs. like lonelygirl15 or whoever that was at the time but reversed. so my whole shoe0nhead persona was just that. i've talked about this in my draw my life video and i also did an interview about my channel origins with Feminist Flow and talked about this a bit (but unfortunately their whole channel is gone now). but this isn't something i've shyed away from. i would always lie to people to sound normal and like i had a healthy social life outside of just hanging out with people much younger than me. hell my mom knows about this first hand because all my lies caught up with me when one of those 15 year olds i was friends with when i was 20 told their mom about my sex-capades and their mom told my mom and my mom was like "what the fuck? you had sex?" and i had to come clean about lying to my friends. i didn't do anything sexual until my 20's. that is the truth. i bring that up not to sound "innocent" like brittany keeps trying to push for some reason but to relate to people who feel pressured about sex like i did. the only time i ever bring it up is in the context of someone who feels bad about not having a gf or bf. because there's no shame in not getting on board with 'hookup culture' or waiting until you find someone you really trust and like. and you shouldn't feel like you need to 'fit in' with that.
i told a bunch of white lies about my personal life in the past and i've always been very open about this. but i don't talk about myself on my channel. i talk about topics. so again this is just random irrelevant gossip shit.

uwu
shoe0nhead is loud, boisterous, mean, obnoxious and curses in every other sentence. i type cutesy sometimes, and i like cute decorations and like cutesy things, yes. but my PERSONA on the shoe0nhead channel is NOT cute at all. shoe0nhead is mad online™ that's the brand. i'm constantly SCREMing and saying "FUCK" and making sex jokes. that's not innocent at all and i don't know why the whole plot of this expose was showing that i was trying to be innocent? i'm not. maybe it's uwu on twitter sometimes when i talk about cute shit. but i've always been like that. you can go back to my tweets before i started talking about feminism even. hell i even have posts from 2012 where i'm talking like a cutesy idiot like "boop :3" and gay shit. i like cute things. girls die if they don't have cute things. i'm not putting on some front. i've always been completely open and honest about shoe0nhead being a character and exaggerated persona. that's literally part of youtube.

summary
honestly there’s nothing else to say. i was cringe & said some bitchy things online and lied on youtube and to people to sound badass and interesting and i’m still cringe now and say dumb shit. i’ve been on the internet for like a decade. every year i look back at myself & cringe. the only difference is normal people dont have stalkers who collect their years of cringe and change.

the drama it stemmed from is over and was over the day it started. i just got way way too invested in fighting with strangers on twitter and “sides” and shit. i just needed a long break from political climates to “clean my room and sort myself out bucko” as professor kermit says. i’ll be back with new fun videos.

TL;DR someone who knows nothing about me made a video exposing things i've already exposed about myself

Thursday, January 18, 2018

YouTube. Why I do it & why you should (or shouldn't)


 
hello frens. this is a long post. a short story, if you will. about my origin story and my experience on youtube but it ends with advice for you. i was motivated to do this after reading about youtube's new monetization policy, the one where youtubers who have under 1,000 subscribers won't be able to make money, and how it made some of you feel like quitting.

i swear this short tale of how i came to be the giant idiot you know today is worth the read if you're a follower or fan. especially if you're a small youtuber. but if you're just a regular guy. fuck off. no just kidding. you're allowed to read it too. just don't complain about the lowercase. a e s t h e t i c, newfriend. let's go.

How I started.


i've been making videos all my life way before there was even a computer in my house. i used to make videos just for fun with an 8mm camera, to entertain my family. i loved movies. and as soon as i discovered moments in life could be recorded on film forever, that i could make my own movies, i was addicted to making videos. whether it was making stop motion with my stuffed animals or interactive 'blues clues' type videos for my sister. screaming at the camera "hi sarah! where's the bunny???!!!" awkwardly waiting a few seconds then going "wow you found the bunny! great job!" quality content, 8 year old june.
so youtube naturally was very attractive to me. "you can put videos ON THE INTERNET and fuckin SHARE THEM WITH PEOPLE" 
i started my first channel in 2008 with my close family friends. it was called JAFSproductions. it stood for June, Andrew, Faith and Sarah. Believe it or not this was influenced by fucking Fred. him and his cousins had a youtube channel with their initials as the name. so yeah. Fred was my first youtube influence. god damn what a throwback.
on JAFS we would just upload silly skits we did so we could share it with our friends. we even created a parody of the 70's show. we didn't expect anyone to see this shit (nobody really did). and there wasn't an option to monetize at this time. it was just really fun to make videos. the JAFS people lived on the other side of the island and could not drive (they were all 14-15 lol) so it was incredibly rare we ever had the opportunity to film anything and when we did- they weren't really into it. it seemed like i was the only one wanting to make videos and forcing them into it wasn't fun at all.
so around 2010 i created "Shoe0nhead", a channel for personal vlogging since i couldn't make skits on my own. i figured i can get creative juices flowing by being goofy by myself and making up 'storytime' stories. so i just talked about things happening in my life and exaggerated, even made up, stories about it. it was fun. but it wasn't what i loved to do. i met online friends and small communities of people and made videos for them but it didn't last long. around this time i was in college, majoring in film and had severe depression. college was a big wake up call that i sucked at directing, something i wanted to do since i was a child. i dropped out and deleted those old vlogs and left youtube for nearly 3 years. abandoning it as soon as i hit 1,000 subscribers. that 4 digit number scared me. i didn't like that i gained that many doing something i wasn't happy with. i wasn't having fun. my depression was getting worse. i was confused and unsure what to do. so i became a daywalker. i completely abandoned the fun part of the internet. just working at the cosmetic section of Macy's and using Facebook. 

How I REALLY started.


July 2014.
i don't even know what the internet is anymore. i haven't touched my youtube account in 3 years. it dropped from 1,000 subscribers to 500. people forgot about me. i was content with my new normie lifestyle. i accepted my death of 9 to 5. i accepted i would never meet friends who enjoyed making videos. i accepted i would never find motivation to create or entertain again.

then i found feminism

(lmao)

facebook was full of pop-feminist shit. everywhere i looked for 2 years. friends i have met online over the years and people i met at work were turning into crazy people outright calling men trash and making huge deals out of little things. calling jokes offensive. calling people misogynists. sexists. racists. i was pressured to be a feminist. facebook friends would ask if i was and i would answer "isn't that outdated? why not just humanist?" (now i know it's called egalitarian, but yeah) which would drive them into a fit of fury. it was insane.

and it was fucking hilarious

so i had an idea.
"fuck it"
i was going to risk friendships with nearly 20 people and upload a short rant about how stupid i thought this all was. and i was going to upload it on facebook.
but then insecurity hit me.
i didn't want to hurt their feelings. i didn't want to directly call them out. they would know i was talking about them. i didn't want to deal with that.
so at the last second i uploaded it to my old Shoe0nhead account.
"this shit is dead nobody will see it anyway."
i needed to rant. i need to scream and vent my frustrations out. at the time i didn't know it, but i had found my drive to create again.

i said what i needed to say. made some jokes. edited it. put Dr. Dre music in the background (inspired by YourMovieSucksDotOrg). it felt good to edit again. even though nobody was going to watch it. it felt good getting that off my chest. maybe someone could relate to my fustration and my humor about the situation would make them feel better. but my channel has been dead for 3 years. i doubted it. 

i hit upload and walked the fuck away. 

catching thunder in a bottle


at this time i didn't use youtube for any other reason other than movie review channels and gamegrumps. i loved (old) JonTron and YourMovieSucksDotOrg (still do). but i wasn't subscribed to any political channels. because i hated politics. they bored me. (still do)
about 4 days after i uploaded Oppression Olympics, my shallow rant about feminism, i decided to check the comments.

it had over 40,000 views.
i had 3,000 subscribers.

i couldn't fucking believe it.

the most views i ever saw on a video of mine was when my sister and i made a video pretending we caught a real alien on film. I think it had 8,000 views. because the title was clickbait af.
but this video? it was called "oppression olympics.mp4". (i kept the mp4 because it thought it was funny.) how did it manage to get this popular?
i read the comments. thousands of people felt the same way i did. after years of feeling like i was alone i was amazed even one person felt the same way i did. it was overwhelming. people were thanking me for "speaking out". saying they "feel the same way". and i was happy for them. i wish i could have found a shoe0nhead when i felt like i was taking crazy pills.
but where were these people coming from?

Thunderf00t

i had no idea who this was. but his comment was the top comment and had several hundred likes. his avatar was a bunny so naturally i was like "n i c e".
i clicked on his channel and holy shit. someone with a lot of subscribers who felt the same way i did. someone else who was fed up with feminist shit.
he had shared my video on a video he made and i instantly connected the dots.


It's about ethics

people wanted more. and boy did i have more. "fat acceptance." "otherkin" all these funny topics i've been surrounded by that i couldn't wait to rant about. i started discovering other youtubers like Sargon of Akkad, Internet Aristocrat and The Honey Badgers. i started diving down the rabbit hole. at the time there wasn't much. but to see other people on my side of this issue was such a relief. i couldn't wait to entertain them more.

then GamerGate happened.

this overloaded my motivation. i went from "what the fucks a video" to "AAAAAAAAAAA" in the span of a few months. i wanted to cover gamergate. it was interesting to me. the striesand effect was crazy. btw all my titles had ".mp4" in them. that was going to be a thing. it's not a thing anymore.
although i was still a newfag, i enjoyed ranting about these subjects. i joined twitter where i spent most of my time. since i worked i couldn't make many videos. but on twitter it was 100% gamergate 24/7. looking back on it, it was pretty cringe. and weird. but i was so into it. the memes were spicy. the friends were cool. the bantz were hot. i was also building an audience very quickly and didn't know how to handle it.

Quitting

early 2015
i wasn't monetized. i refused to make any money off of my videos. i didn't want this hobby that i had just gotten back into to feel like a job. i wanted to keep it pure. mundane matt tried to convince me to monetize. i refused. i already had a job. i worked a lot. i worked almost every day. but subjects were moving quickly. every day there was a new happening. every hour something stupid happened that was ripe for the commentary. by the time i had the time to sit down a make a video the topic was already a week old. not only could i not keep up, but pressure was building. i was comparing myself to other people in my genre constantly. there were a few channels, let's call one, The Thinker Of Reason 666, that really intimidated me. they were smart. i was not. they made long videos. i made short videos. at this time i had 50,000 subscribers. fifty thousand people were watching me. and i couldn't handle it. my content wasn't good enough to entertain 50,000 people. The Thinker Of Reason didn't even have 50,000 people watching him. why did i deserve that much? i felt like i was cheating. and once again the numbers were freaking me out.

so after my 'average is beautiful' video i quit.


i stayed on twitter and decided i would just be an observer and not a creator. i was still interested in the subject. but i didn't feel good enough. there were now dozens of youtubers talking about this subject and they were all way smarter than me, with better cameras, and more to say.

but they weren't... funny. they were serious. everyone was so serious. how the fuck are you so serious with such a hilarious topic?

i watched my subscription feed overflow with updates and content about feminism. they were great videos. i loved hearing what all the different personalities had to say. because of the recommended videos on a TL;DR video i discovered Armoured Skeptic who QUICKLY became my new favorite youtuber. i thought it was going to be some cringe worthy edgy atheist shit but he was hilarious. his humor was on point. the way he made fun of people's logic and words without actually making fun of them personally was influential. it made me want to create again. i bought his merch. but i kept quiet. i'll keep the entertainment on twitter. feminism is clearly a serious subject. i also discovered christina hoff sommers during my "quitting" months and i was addicted to her. based mom, they called her. she was a huge influence to me (still is). so i bought her book. "Who Stole Feminism"

and it was like a sign from god


Guess whose back, back again

i bought a "slightly used" copy of Sommers' book on amazon and it couldn't have fallen into better hands. the pages of her book were COVERED in angry feminist notes. saying things like "no" "fuck off" "shut the fuck up" and 'correcting' christina's points. my dumbass had to make a video about this. i couldn't just tweet about it. i had to show my audience. so i threw on my Armoured Skeptic shirt (hoping senpai would notice me) and made the video. yes it wasn't a "smart" video. but it was funny. and i feel like that corner of the internet needed some laid back, funny material. for fucks sake, the feminists were basically feeding us the comedic material.

people loved it.

what was i thinking sitting back and sticking to twitter? it's like britney spears said:

'there's only two types of people in the world.
the one's that entertain
and the one's that observe.'

gay marriage was legalized in the US the next month. so i made a video mocking conservatives who freaked out about it. people loved it. it didn't matter what i made a video about. why did i feel like i had to do something else? or be someone else? people subscribed because of me. because they like MY takes on these subjects. it didn't matter that The thinker of reason made a video about x first. not everyone is subscribed to the thinker of reason and not everyone likes the thinker of reason. the people who are subscribed to me are here for me. and although i couldn't sit and read a 10 page study on the wage gap. i could make a funny button that debunks it, symbolizing how often feminists bring it up. my purpose was to make people laugh amongst all the bad news and i was very okay with this. i felt comfortable making videos again. 
i also started dating Armoured Skeptic. a fan girl's dream come true. and i finally had a friend who enjoyed creating entertainment as much as i did. then i made my buzzfeed response video which fucking shot me through the roof. the subs kept pouring in. i finally got over my stubbornness about monetization thanks to my boyfriend (and my parents who basically pressured me to make money off of this) and quit my job. in late 2016 at 400,000 subscribers i felt secure enough to quit my job. i was scared it would change things, but so far it has not.

it's currently 2018 and i am a few thousand away from 1 million subscribers.

so what is this? am i just bragging? no bitch. listen.


You and YouTube.


advice time:

this advice all comes from experience and things i have done by accident that seem to work. by reading comments every single day since fucking 2014 i've noticed why people come to my channel and why people stay. 

this week youtube rolled out it's monthly platform suicide note. it told small channels under 1,000 subscribers would not be able to monetize. 

i tweeted about this and was incredibly upset seeing the replies of "small channels" wanting to quit. or hearing some of you have already quit because of demonetization. so let's talk about that really quick.


answer these questions

1. why do you make videos?


i make videos because i love to make people laugh. i make videos because it's been a hobby of mine since i was a kid. i make videos because i love seeing people timestamp a part they found funny. i make videos because i love to create more inside jokes and memes within my fanbase. i make videos because i love to edit them. i make videos because im fucking bored and have no hobbies. why do you make videos?

if one of the only things you can think of is "money" you were doomed from the start. because i'm going to be honest. it's really fucking easy to tell when a youtuber is just in it for the money. you can tell they have no passion behind what they are doing and it's a huge turn off. do not be that person.
that sounds mean. and harsh. but it's true. you need a muse. you need something more motivating than money. otherwise don't bother. you can get a job working retail and make money easily.

pretend it's 2008 again

years ago there was no monetization on youtube and that was the golden age of youtube. it's my reason for keeping the potato cam 480p black bar "girl in bedroom" aesthetic. look at the famous youtubers who were gold age youtubers, like shane dawson or smosh. they weren't monetized when they started and now they have millions of subscribers.

so let's say you're okay with not being monetized. but you still feel like your channel isn't doing very well and you want to quit. let's help you there.


2. what is your genre?

what are you? vlogger? gamer? makeup? commentator? sketch comedy? political? debunker? think about what genre would you place yourself in then think about who is your favorite youtuber in that genre. when i first started mine were YMS and JonTron. they were great commentators. their humor was already very similar to mine but i adopted their quick paced editing style. you can tell they were my early influences. later on my influences were Armoured Skeptic and Sargon. it's good to have people who influence you. but now you have to make yourself unique.

3. what do you bring to the table?

what makes you stand out from others in said genre? you can take inspiration from your favorite youtuber's style. do it. no shame. i know youtubers who copy my style and it's great. (just don't literally copy them word for word, ever. because i know someone who did that to me. and i'm still butthurt about it) but now think of something different you can do.


4. what is your A E S T H E T I C 

so we discussed content but let's discuss the more shallow aspect- looks.

rule number 1 on youtube is have good thumbnails. take time to make your thumbnails. put nice borders around them or something. have short titles. have a "theme" (i use the same font for example) make it eye catching and make the title interesting (and short if you can) but don't go full clickbait. wait. first let's talk about WHAT clickbait is.
clickbait is titles or thumbnails that have nothing to do with the video topic.

that's it.

flashy thumbnails. colors. crazy titles. all of that is fine and not clickbait. as long as those things are relevant to the topic you are discussing in your video. remember that. the worst clickbait is the kind that doesn't even have anything about the topic in the title. please for the love of god do not use vague titles like "OMG YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED HERE!!!" or "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THIS". it's so cheap.
i dabble in the art of "not-clickbait" by titling my videos things i argue against in said video. examples include: my "women aren't funny" or "men are wimps" videos. people will see those titles and be like "THE FUCK??" then breathe a sigh of relief when i agree with them. not clickbait-but makes people interested. making your title a question is also a good way to go. for example: "how many genders?" (my now deleted video) or "who stole feminism"? if you're making a video let's say about net neutrality and arguing for the pro-side of it. title it "is net neutrality bad?" or something like that. and have your dumbass doing a confused face for the thumbnail.

so we got your thumbnail down. now let's think about what physically separates the meat of your content from the thousands of other people sitting in their bedroom talking about current events or the dozens of other animal avatar/suit avatar anti-sjw channels?
my potato cam and 2008 bedroom vlog vibe are mine. have cool music in the background. have an interesting backdrop. have all your videos be in black and white. maybe have your entire wall covered in pictures of nicholas cage and never mention it. that would be hilarious.

5. if you weren't you would you watch your videos?
this one is so fucking important and it was a major motivation for my channel. as much as i hate myself i would probably watch my videos. i love comedic commentary. chris ray gun is currently my favorite "anti-feminist" channel and people always say we are the gender swapped versions of each other. and i learned pretty recently that his influence was also old JonTron videos. so there you go. are you doing something YOU would find entertaining or interesting? if not you need to re-evaluate. if so- let's move on to the next step.

NOTICE ME SENPAI


so you think you have what makes you unique down. good. now is the hard part. getting people to watch your shit. i was lucky. but others might not be as lucky. this is what you do. SEND OTHER YOUTUBERS YOUR VIDEOS. i'm not fucking joking. you might feel annoying but if it's good content 80% of the time they will share it. this advice comes from me because i am that youtuber who shares it and i've seen people blow the fuck up overnight because of it. this works ESPECIALLY well if said youtuber is in your genre. it also helps if it is a subject or current event said youtuber is interested in. but do not spam it to them. once is enough. tweet it to them. "hey check out this video i made about ____". 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.


establishing a fanbase


okay so you mentally figured out who you are and what to do. you made your thumbnails. you got the exposure.

now what?

like i said, a gurl talking about feminism was a unique thing on it's own especially when i started. but there are hundreds of anti-feminist channels and hundreds of anti feminist women on youtube now. i got lucky with the exposure but what about now? what makes these people stay? why are my numbers always good? why did i get 700,000 views on a video i made 4 days ago where i react to what i thought was overplayed shit from 2015?

THE MEMES, friend. THE MEMES.

you don't have to-but i chose treating my channel like a character. the things said are still my real opinions, but my personality in real life is NOT that boisterous and loud. i'm in fact pretty timid and laid back. but shoe0nhead is a giant idiot. she's ON all the time. EXTREMELY ONLINE. and people love it. there are things associated with my channel. like ollie. the patriarchy monster. the don't flag. the wage gap button. nihilism. the bad camera. the dr. dre and gorillaz music. it really helps to have at least one "thing". think of yourself as an action figure or a barbie. what accessories would you come with? chrisraygun would come with bleach and paul. armoured skeptic would come with his minions and... me. it's cool to have a "thing". you don't have to, but it's cool to. fans like "things". although it's cheesy and only works if you're a goofy entertainer, you could also have a name for your fanbase. mine is friendos. :D

pay attention to your viewers


youtube is all about entertaining your audience. they are who is important here. always keep them in mind. respond to comments. "heart" comments. pin comments. make a twitter account. make your channel a fun environment where people will always enjoy coming back. when you are big enough make merch. encourage fans to send you pictures of them wearing the merch then make a montage of all your awesome fans rocking your shirts. make them feel important, because they are. they are not numbers or dollar signs, they are real people who enjoy what you do and they need to come first.

closing notes. 

-make sure you always love what you are doing. if you ever feel stuck or feel like your content is stale mix it up or take a break. breaks are good. like my "quitting" break.

-listen to criticism. sometimes you will get harsh criticism and it might hurt your feelings. but it's important to listen to it and consider what they are saying. if it's just dumb hate like "fuck you fagboi" ignore it. if you get enough cringe worthy insults make a video reading hate comments. people love that shit.

i cannot help you 'become a popular youtuber'. some people get lucky when it comes to exposure but even the lucky ones work hard after the initial exposure. if you can do it it's a lot of fun. it's a dream job doing what you love for a living. 

good luck, frens <3





Wednesday, February 25, 2015

middle aged moms white washing the internet


hallo there. 
this is a long scatter minded blog post written in my natural, unedited, unprofessional writing style. i am typing this at 4 in the morning because i was influenced by my friend's post, i got sick of condensing my thoughts into 140 characters, also i just love writing in general. i do "suffer" from a terrible attention span. so if i go off topic, be sure to inform me.

this is a blog post about gamergate and also 'social justice'.
if you do not know what gamergate is, please watch
this video to get caught up in only a few seconds.

i played video games almost every day as a child. i have every console up to the original xbox (minus dreamcast) but i can't say i am too interested in games today. unless you count the sims. i like watching people play them more than i like playing them now. around 2008 in my 10th grade debate class, i remember going on stage in front of around 50 people and debating about how video games do not cause violence- how violent people cause violence.
today in 2015, for, 6 months straight, i have been debating non-stop about how people who play video games are not sexists- sexists are sexists.
for 6 months i have been actively defending my friends, who are only defending their hobby against cruel, ridiculous accusations and smear tactics thrown at them by various media outlets who constantly label them as misogynist terrorists for not wanting to see their favorite hobby go down in flames by people who couldn't care less about it.

you tap me on the shoulder and ask
"june, why are you so involved with gamergate if you don't play video games? isn't this movement all about ethics in journalism?"

sit down peasant.

when i first found out about gamergate it was in the heat of my return to youtube. i had just made a (awful) video about third wave feminism and how it's retarded and unnecessary as shit, about how feminism in america has become a celebrity trend and a sassy tumblr fashion statement.

i'm a feminist like queen beyonce tbh feminism is cool
at first i thought the story of gamergate was hilarious. how game devs frantically trying to cover up corruption started to pretend their sites were hacked. how everyone was sleeping with each other for better reviews of their shitty boring games. as predicted the game dev in question pulled the "IM A WOMAN" card. the most classic get out of jail, get out of responsibility card there is. this is what initially sparked my interest in this. 
using "woman" as a shield has become so popular for these types of humans. you can say and do the most fucked up shit and if someone dares call you out on it or criticize you? simply shout the fact that you indeed have a vagina at the top of your lungs, and you can guarantee you will have 400 white knights sucking your infected facial piercings.
using "woman" as a buzzword for victim points is used far too often by feminists and it's both equal parts embarrassing as it is patronizing. it implies women are to be handled like drooling half retarded babies- never to receive criticism or be questioned. delicate little angels who can do no wrong and can't protect themselves. they cannot comprehend that idiots get called out for being idiots, regardless of gender.

>tfw you hate your vagina so much you think it's the reason everyone hates you

disregarding the fact that the internet mocks many idiotic men just as much, if not more, than the women involved in these scandals, female game devs and irrelevant conartists continued to feed their hipster welfare accounts with the money of neutered manchildren. several were climbing over each other for death threats and harassment for the title of 'most hated feminist in the video game industry'. women tossing themselves into the beehive waiting to be stung by any twitter egg account that was made that day so they can screencap it and profit off of it.

behold, the face of harassment.

the media and these idiots twisted everything. instead of gamergate being about corruption in the journalism industry- gamergate was painted as a misogynist hate movement run by online terrorists who want women out of their hobby.
and that could not possibly be any more false.

"it's not about corruption in the media!" 
-the media

first of all video games are not only a boys club. and for fug's sake why do you think the trend 'gamurgirl' is a thing? why do you think people pretend to be women in games like WoW? girls are not just accepted, they often get special treatment and are praised. my minecraft account was used by an old friend of mine for years where he flirted with people to get free shit. ask anyone who plays games as a hobby what their ideal partner would be and 90% of the time it's "likes video games too".

gamergate much like video games, is also not a boys club.
in fact, i have met more women, gays and trans people through gamergate than i have in my many years on the internet (and in real life) and i now have more close online female friends than i ever did.
all of these months involved i have seen nothing but support from the cause towards me and other women involved.
look at all these FUCKING MEN
oh btw ladies can you try and be less attractive? it really triggers us.

#notyourshield is a hashtag started by Ninou as a rebuttal against the ridiculous accusations and claims that 10,000+ people in the gamergate hashtag are all white straight men that hate women. as retarded and bizarre as this sounds, every single day another white hipster accuses a minority of being a white male using a fake account (aka sock puppet) or even, get this, A STOCK PHOTO. yes my friends, they have accused people of being stock photos




notice how they are all sick of this shit.

these gamers are replied to with silence, being blocked or the idiot deleting their entire twitter account in shame.

anti-gamergate/ghazi/middle aged moms/pissants/SJW's whatever you prefer to call them, are so deep in the kool aid they cannot comprehend anybody falling outside of their ideology. we see this with feminism too. the daily claims of "internalized racism" and "internalized misogyny"  because god forbid a woman or black person calls them out on their self righteousness or immense PATRONIZING it can't possibly be that they are able to think outside of the herd, no, it's because they are simply brainwashed and too stupid to know whats good for them! we all need brave (white, straight) men and women telling us how all how to think and how to woman/minority/gay correctly.


"so why do they want so badly to whitewash gamergate?" 
you ask, your eyes full of curiosity and wonder.

well my babies, get cozy, because uncle june is about to tell you.

now just a quick reminder before we dive head first into this shallow pool of stupid, we are talking about a certain brand of social justice. on paper, much like feminism, social justice is a good thing. everybody should be equal and treated fairly. we're talking about the insecure grownass adults who want so badly for gays and black people to like them that they go and shit on their own race, thinking it will please them. we are talking about grownass adults who believe racism against people with white skin does not exist and think eating chinese food is cultural appropriation.

you see, the goal of the middle aged mom is simple; look as progressive as possible, as "morally superior" as possible and collect as many internet brownie points as possible from all of their other middle aged mom friends. internet social justice was made by straight white people- for straight white people. 

HEY EVERYONE. HEY.
HEY.
ARE YOU LOOKING.
LOOK HOW *NOT* RACIST OR SEXIST I AM.
LOOK AT ME BEING *NOT* RACIST OR SEXIST.
ARE YOU LOOKING??
HEY
LOOK HOW PROGRESSIVE I AM BEING.
pls respond

congratulations on doing the bare minimum of what is expected of human beings.

so what makes somebody this way? three things;

  • guilt
  • projection
  • over-compensation.


hey ladies, i'm not like those other men, i WONT hit you. ehehe

OOPS.

much like when a loud anti-gay rights governor is caught at a gay bar.
or when the leader of the klan is caught getting a blowjob from a black girl.

projection is a funny thing.

(in fact sometimes i think my dislike for these hyper sensitive cry babies stems from myself being an extremely hyper sensitive cry baby.)

for the sake of this rant lets pretend that these people in fact do not have NPD or HPD. (psst they do)
but most of it is simply ego stroking.
do you remebember kony 2012
internet social justice is exactly that only dragged on 5 years too long.

basically the name of the game is to be as progressive and as self righteous as you can possibly be so no one
suspects you're in fact actually a huge asshole who would buttfuck their own clone if given the chance.

but i digress.

"WHY do the SJW's want so desperately to whitewash gamergate???" you scream towards the sky, hands bloody, those eyes now filled with tears.

calm down, baby, i'm gettin to that.

the middle aged mom brigade has never once approached me.
not once, not neva.
before the creation of the Super Mega Hugbox 2000
i would confront those who claimed GG was against women.
and i would be met with...



silence.





i shit you not.
never once have one of these reeree's responded to me AFTER finding out i was a woman. but when they think i'm one of their precious white men, the story is a little different.

i have been accused of being a sock puppet around seven times since august. the most famous (and most hilarious) time being by Graham Linehan
"Glinner" is nobody of importance the writer of the comedy series  'the IT crowd".



this was the first time i had heard about this person when this specific tweet was retweeted onto my twitter feed. glinner is, for some reason, unable to comprehend that people like to use pictures of cartoon characters they like as their avatars. if glinner was of this generation and not a dried up dusty vagina, he would understand that nobody assumes people using female character avatars are trying to pretend TO BE those avatars (what even). it's widely known by the entire internet that you do not have to use a picture of yourself as your avatar and that cartoons, logos, drawings and "memes" (reaction images) are very popular choices for replacements. it's also common knowledge (but apparently not to adam baldwin) that you do not have to use your real full name on social media platforms. this logic is still beyond me and i think i'd have to age about 25 more years to finally understand it. 

that's where the term middle aged mom comes in.
think of it as if your mother were to find out what gamergate is.
they don't know anything about anything.

many of these people are what we on the DARKNET 1337 hax0rs anonymous leader of 4chan's /V/ like to call "normies", or "norps" (normal ordinary responsible person) the type that have their real life friends added on everything and still use AOL as their primary email. they do not know how to computer the internet.

now in reality, the chantards are the losers here. we surround ourselves with the gutter filth of the internet and we're friends with hundreds of people we have never met in person. our humor is unique, sometimes dark, ironic and more or less offensive depending on your own sense of humor. to normal people, this is bizarre, confusing and even disgusting.
but we've been numbed by the ridiculous things we have seen online that some of the most disturbing things now borderline blend in with the background of your monitor and skip right passed your eyes. to us "internet trolls" and generic harassment are no threat and we know they are just bored asssholes bothering people to get a reaction from them. but to people in their mid 30's who only share pictures of their dog and spinach quiche recipes on facebook, this is a huge problem. call the cops. call barrack obama.
this causes a lot of confusion between these two groups (anti-gg and gg). now, i have absolutely no idea why it is mostly split this way. but i can guess it has something to do with these people being middle aged mom types and "gators" being more shut-in and nerdy. therefor they would use the internet more, grow up with it and be familiar with "chan culture".
but anyway!
as i was saying..

i confronted glinner on his bullcrap. to which he responded-
oh wait he didn't. 


he instead posted my twitter avatar with the caption "look at this one. not misogyny! ethics!", implying i was a man hiding behind a woman's picture and calling that woman (myself) a slut. ???

the funniest thing about this though, or most embarrassing, was that Glinner is supposedly a comedic writer, somebody who should indeed understand what self depreciating humor is, but he didn't. he instead jumped to the completely bizarre conclusion that i was a man using a picture of a girl. because it's a fact girls can't be funny and gamergate is all fulla white penises. but what do you expect from a man whose show is about a woman too dumb to into computers so a bunch of men have to help her. (do i smell projection again?)
instead of apologizing for potentially sending 400k angry M.A.M's to harass me (plot twist, once again none of them confronted me) glinner instead blocks me out of shame and back peddles so hard i swear i felt the earth slightly tilt 3 inches from it's axis.

"you're harassing women."
"so what they're stupid they deserve it"

i guess all of those wife beaters were right all along. thanks glinner. very nice.

to this day glinner remains the butt of many of my jokes. he is a lolcow with endless milk and i pray to the gods every day for his glorious fuck up that made me laugh harder than the IT crowd ever did. it was the second hand embarrassment felt around the world.



"WHY DO SJWS WANT SO BADLY TO WHITE WASH GAMERGATE WHY DO THEY GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO BLOCK AND SILENCE MINORITIES AND WOMEN?? I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!!!!!!!" you are now screaming, veins protruding out of your skull, you claw at the ground in some kind of animalistic instinct to escape your pain and torture.

hush hush, my child, the time will come.

earlier i mentioned something about the blockbot, the hugbox machine 2000, or aka "mommy please hold my hand the internet is scary and people disagree with me"
it was created by a programmer named randi harper  who made the bot as a means to block all of the "harassers". the blockbot instead blocks literally everyone who has ever tweeted something (good) about gamergate, and even people who follow people who tweet about gamergate. it puts people into groups and ranks them on their potential threat to muh narrative DANGER level. 
(1 being the highest level of shitlord, 3 being slightly 'problematic', i guess)

'chanscum'

among those harassers was KFC, yes the chicken place, and the president of IGDA puerto rico, who was not very happy about that.


with 10,000 people blocked, including hundreds of women and minorities, anti-gamergate successfully created the largest echo chamber known to man kind. here they can safely log out of their accounts, lurk ours and post screenshots of "problematic" things gamergate says so they can report back to the hugbox and jack each other off frantically to caps of a trans woman who jokes about trans women, generic regurgitated /pol/tard vomit and tweets taken out of context to make us look evil. because remember folks; all of the gamergate hashtag is one person and people are unable to think outside a hivemind!

"PLEASE. MAKE IT STOP. GET TO YOUR POINT ALREADY" you sob with a loaded gun against your temple. i watch as your salty tears fall from your rosy cheeks down to your chin. you look up at me with a glimmer of hope.

lol hold up lil nigga i'm almost finished.

of course when someone on the anti-gamergate side does something "problematic" such as 'accidentally' sharing childporn and saving pictures of naked children, fantasizing about dog dong and children butts, doxxing me and others,  the rules suddenly change and excuses like "OH. WELL… THATS NOT WHAT *I* THINK SO…" or the ever so popular "ANTI GAMERGATE IS NOT EVEN A THING!!" come out of the woodwork.



you put your finger on the trigger and close your eyes
"I'M GOING TO DO IT. I'M GOING TO END IT ALL. JUST TELL ME WHY THEY
WHITEWASH GAMERGATE!!"

okay. jesus christ.

it's simple.

anti-gamergate white washes gamergate because it fits their narrative.

that's it.

just like how anita cherry picks who her 'haters' are.

lmao nah



their narrative is that all of gamergate are angry white male nerds living in their parents basement. just like dick wolf said. if the world were to see how many different types of people disagreed with them, the narritave would be shattered and they would have no ammo.
this is why they label us as white, male, MRA, right wing, conservatives.
(despite GG being nearly ALL left wing)



they will make themselves believe everyone who disagrees with them is whoever their ideology deems is the enemy.
it's all about muh narrative, remember that.
even mark kern (game dev of world of warcraft) who still holds a neutral stance and only wishes peace to both sides.. was reduced to nothing but another "white cis dude", despite being an asian man.

get it, gurl.


using the block bot to silence the opposing voice is the smartest thing these cowards will ever do. now they can live in their white washed make believe world where their narrative will never, ever be questioned.
truly a hugbox of extraordinary proportions.

george orwell is spinning in his grave.

in fact, the hugbox machine 2000 specifically blocks minorities under the word "token". amazing.



and god forbid someone slips through the hugbox cracks and shows you hard evidence of anita being a con artist? 
pull a sassy "bored of u~*" cop-out and block them.





the fact remains.
anti-gg has nothing.
they have screencaps of generic twitter trolls spewing playground insults.
they 'listen and believe' over hard evidence and facts.
they get angry when more corruption in the industry is unveiled.
they have a dangerous 'with us or against us' mentality which has bought many neutrals to this side.
they whitewash and silence to fit their agenda.
they grasp at straws and cherry pick until their hands are bleeding.
but most important of all
they're losing
and they know it





okay it's 6:22 am.
thanks for reading. you can put down the gun now.