Saturday, May 19, 2018

response

Response

some of you have probably seen this "expose" video made about me. besides the criticisms about disavowing lauren & screencaps of me being a bitch about fat people in the past, which i agree these things were stupid of me, it's such bullshit. it's SO bad at some points and so painfully easily debunkable that i'm not sure if she's doing her trolling act she used to do and just baiting for a response video. which she's not getting. but it's obvious she does not follow me closely at all and has seen very little of my content and has just been given out of context things from some seriously dedicated internet stalkers so she can make this takedown video and hasn't done any research of her own. 

let's start with the biggest one

my old videos
i’ve already spoken about my old videos being fabricated story time “OMG ALMOST DIED” videos so many times in streams, in my old blogpost about youtube (read it here) and even in my ancient “draw my life” video from 2013 (here). also you can checkout me and derrick’s old livestream on shoe0ffhead where we talk about our highschool experience together (here) if you... need?... second hand confirmation that i’m not... lying... about once being a loser and was in fact lying about being cool and popular and likable like a lot of 19 year olds with GOTIS just discovering you can fabricate a new life online would do.
balloon girl never happened and was one of the storytime things but scarf girl DID happen and we talk about it in detail in that stream. i literally never once hid the fact that on top of being bullied myself i partook in some bullying later on. like. we talked about this on a stream just a FEW MONTHS ago. its not some secret.

19 year old june who was very insecure and unhappy with her life was trying to put on a persona of "cool and edgy". this person has it twisted and thinks 27 year old june who is very secure and happy with her life is trying to put on a persona of "not cool". i'm almost fucking 30, dude. i'm content with telling people who might relate to my experiences that they shouldn't fake who they are and be themselves and not care about being "popular" and shit. again.... i've talked about this.



'fat shaming'
i've never told someone they are fat or fat shamed them to their face. but i have talked badly about people being fat. but that's just like, immaturity. no excuse really. just was being a bitch. i dont know why that clip of us at the park where i zoomed in on the woman was an example of this? i didn't call her fat or anything. i was just being ADD. that reach.

having friends
the other “friends” you saw in videos are literally cousins (more like family friends really but ive known them since they were born) that were 4-5 years younger than me (JAFSvideos. again. ive talked about this SO MANY times) and that wasnt when i was in highschool that when i was out of highschool and/or in my 20's. hanging out with people 5 years younger than you doesn't prove you were some cool chick lmao that's pretty fucking lame when you really think about it. in highschool i was a fucking uglyass wallflower that's not a lie. my best friend was Derrick and he's still my best friend.

this was me at 15-16





if this isn't the face of a wallflower i dont know what is??? lmao



being a goth
i wasnt goth in my old videos because youtube wasn't popular when i was a goth lmao. i didn't use youtube yet. i wasn’t a goth in COLLEGE. it was 2004-2007. it was tripp pants poser goth. just such an irrelevant and weird reach to pile on to make me look "fake". i've posted several pictures and videos of me when i was "goth" but most have been yeeted since my myspace is dead.



god help me


anime
i don't like anime but i don't actually hate it. i've stated this. it's literally a fucking meme. "two bombs wasn't enough". "ban anime". etc. again, anyone who actually watches me knows this. liking "kawaii" japanese things like plushies and clothing is completely irrelevant to liking anime. a total reach. japanese/korean stuff is really cute. this was clearly just more filler.

video games
this one was the biggest "are you fucking kidding me lmao" points
i have never once in my life claimed to be a gamer. one of the most popular ongoing jokes especially during gamergate was about how i don't play video games. it's incredibly well known that i only play the sims and some multiplayer games with greg nowadays, but when i was younger i enjoyed vidya. christ, even in my "social justice league vs gamers" video my opening joke is how i have never played megaman while i'm wearing a megaman shirt. and in my 'manspreading' video i joke about how my nintendo DS hasn't turned into a paperweight yet. there are also dozens of tweets of me joking about not playing games. AGAIN. reach. just like the old videos and the anime this is me being well aware about something and talking about it often and her making it seem like it's some dirty secret lmao

relationship
this is just some people who aren't fans of us not understanding dynamic and not understanding that people usually ham up their personalities for 'the lulz' to entertain an audience. he makes fun of me a lot but i make fun of him back all the time. it's convenient nobody ever brings that up when trying to paint this retarded narrative of him treating me like shit. we dealt with this in 2015 when a psychotic feminist started a rumor that i was underraged and greg was abusive. this isn't new. it's just tired and dumb. if he treated me like shit i'd leave. the screencap of me saying i'm only into bdsm because of him isn't about bdsm, like everything else that was taken out of context and i was talking about porn. i wouldn't watch porn by myself because i can't really get off to it on my own. tmi. this whole thing is such awkward tmi.
you can think me fawning over him is cringe sure. but this has been going on for years. we're getting married and i love him. there are no brakes on the gay train.

being a cuck
i'd insta break up with greg if he cheated on me. and i don't like the idea of him having sex with other women. unless i'm literally joining in. that's a threesome. if having threesomes makes someone a cuck that's just retarded.
so this is honestly just really funny and people are going to wind up making it into a meme just like we did with the 'shoe is underaged' drama started by Jenny McDermott, who, was used as a fucking SOURCE in this video.

porn
we're in a long distance and sometimes go months without seeing each other do you expect me to care if he watches porn lmao what even is this WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAA this is nothing but weird purity spiraling.

wearing wigs
i got trichotillomania when i was about 11-12 and started wearing wigs when i was about 13-14. THESE AREN'T CONTRADICTIONS. I DIDN'T GET TRICH THEN INSTANTLY START WEARING WIGS LOL

ollie
ollie hasn't lived in his cage in years. he has the entire livingroom to himself closed off with a baby gate and his cage is always open. he literally will jump into his cage and sleep in there while it's open. he also uses it as his litter box. he likes it, i don't lock him in there unless i have to. like if lots of people come over the house. remember i don't live alone, i live with my family. i'm not allowed to have a rabbit wondering the entire house. and i was also not allowed to have a second rabbit. when i have my own place ollie will be completely free to roam around the whole apartment. so you can stop with this weird animal abuse fanfiction.

my videos are the same
although it's not technically true, as if that even needs to be said, i literally have a "all my videos are the fucking same" shirt. i've said that joke in videos. greg has screamed it at me in my cat calling video. plus the ongoing headache of feminist media saying the same shit is literally part of the funny. hence, the wage gap button. thats the joke.

if you're going to make a video mocking me at least beat me to the punch

changing to cater to boyfriend
i'm not even the same person i was 2 years ago let alone 10 YEARS AGO. i am constantly changing and growing and my personality and everything changes constantly. that's not weird at all. that's normal and a good thing. making it seem like greg got me into the 'lolita' style is really creepy when you can go back to pictures of me from like 2012 and see i was experimenting with that style a lot. i just found it pretty and cute. and now that i have money i can buy more things in that style so i experiment more. i can't really pull it off myself but i appreciate that aesthetic and always have. i'm constantly changing my style and experimenting with it. i even went through a Kreayshawn phase where i wore big bamboo earings. i'm surprised that wasn't mentioned because it was pretty bad. there's nothing wrong with experimenting with style especially when your mom picked out your clothing until you were like 14 and you never really knew how to dress but uh. yeah.

'lies'
finding out that you can re-invent yourself however you want online was a blessing for my-ass at the time. i wanted to have this persona as this ex-cool girl who used to be super popular and used to have a great eventful life. i thought that would be super interesting angle for vlogs. like lonelygirl15 or whoever that was at the time but reversed. so my whole shoe0nhead persona was just that. i've talked about this in my draw my life video and i also did an interview about my channel origins with Feminist Flow and talked about this a bit (but unfortunately their whole channel is gone now). but this isn't something i've shyed away from. i would always lie to people to sound normal and like i had a healthy social life outside of just hanging out with people much younger than me. hell my mom knows about this first hand because all my lies caught up with me when one of those 15 year olds i was friends with when i was 20 told their mom about my sex-capades and their mom told my mom and my mom was like "what the fuck? you had sex?" and i had to come clean about lying to my friends. i didn't do anything sexual until my 20's. that is the truth. i bring that up not to sound "innocent" like brittany keeps trying to push for some reason but to relate to people who feel pressured about sex like i did. the only time i ever bring it up is in the context of someone who feels bad about not having a gf or bf. because there's no shame in not getting on board with 'hookup culture' or waiting until you find someone you really trust and like. and you shouldn't feel like you need to 'fit in' with that.
i told a bunch of white lies about my personal life in the past and i've always been very open about this. but i don't talk about myself on my channel. i talk about topics. so again this is just random irrelevant gossip shit.

uwu
shoe0nhead is loud, boisterous, mean, obnoxious and curses in every other sentence. i type cutesy sometimes, and i like cute decorations and like cutesy things, yes. but my PERSONA on the shoe0nhead channel is NOT cute at all. shoe0nhead is mad online™ that's the brand. i'm constantly SCREMing and saying "FUCK" and making sex jokes. that's not innocent at all and i don't know why the whole plot of this expose was showing that i was trying to be innocent? i'm not. maybe it's uwu on twitter sometimes when i talk about cute shit. but i've always been like that. you can go back to my tweets before i started talking about feminism even. hell i even have posts from 2012 where i'm talking like a cutesy idiot like "boop :3" and gay shit. i like cute things. girls die if they don't have cute things. i'm not putting on some front. i've always been completely open and honest about shoe0nhead being a character and exaggerated persona. that's literally part of youtube.

summary
honestly there’s nothing else to say. i was cringe & said some bitchy things online and lied on youtube and to people to sound badass and interesting and i’m still cringe now and say dumb shit. i’ve been on the internet for like a decade. every year i look back at myself & cringe. the only difference is normal people dont have stalkers who collect their years of cringe and change.

the drama it stemmed from is over and was over the day it started. i just got way way too invested in fighting with strangers on twitter and “sides” and shit. i just needed a long break from political climates to “clean my room and sort myself out bucko” as professor kermit says. i’ll be back with new fun videos.

TL;DR someone who knows nothing about me made a video exposing things i've already exposed about myself